(Closed) How to tell the bride you're not paying for makeup

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 47
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would be honest. Let her know you know how much this day means to her, but that you would prefer to do your own makeup. Ask her the look she is going for, and replicate it yourself. If she is ‘needy’ try and reassure her with all the ways this will benefit her! You can do it yourself and will be available to help with any issues the other maids may have as you wont be waiting on a makeup artist. If it comes down to it I would be honest and say that financially that is straining and you want to be sure you can give them a nice gift! It sounds like the other maids are just not interested in confrontation. Perhaps ask her if it really is an issue that we do a poll of the other maids, who wants to do their own makeup and who would rather do it themselves. Or if you are talented yourself, offer to do the makeup on the rest of the maids yourself and save everyone some $$

Post # 48
Member
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

First- WOW! Expensive friend!

Second- I would just go “Hey, I’m actually going to do my own make up. I just can’t swing that $85 on top of everything else!”

Post # 49
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Know what though? No one ever asked me to pay for my hair, nails and makeup for the weddings I’ve been in. It was just understood that we would take care of it on our own and show up looking decent on the morning-of. What’s with all this brides dictating the grooming stuff I keep seeing? Bridesmaids do not WANT to look a mess at your ceremony, so it’s really not necessary to mandate the exact makeup artist and application method, is it?

Post # 50
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If she wants you guys to do these things why is she not chipping in to pay? I’m not asking my girls to do their hair/nails/toes look a certain way but I’m paying for it because i want everyone to look nice.

Post # 51
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You’re right. Being a bridesmaid doesn’t mean you have to break the bank. Yes, it’s a responsibility and you will have some financial “burdens,” but as a bride, I would NEVER EVER consider EXPECTING my BMs to pay for something they couldn’t afford.

I asked each of my girls what they were comfortable with and made my decisions on the dress/shoes/hair/etc. AFTER that.

I would just say that you are perfectly capable of doing your own make up and you simply don’t have the funds to pay that much for something extra like that. 

Honestly, I can’t believe she’s requiring you to get manis/pedis. 

Not trying to insult your friend, but I will never understand brides who require their BMs to do all this crazy stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 52
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

She asked YOU to be in her wedding party therefore SHE should be paying for everything for you. Some girls are so selfish, they want a HUGE wedding party to make their wedding seem grand but they are too selfish and cheap to pay for it. 

If you can’t afford your lavish wedding, don’t have it so freaking big and expensive!

I know this one bride who asked her bridal party pay for their portion of taking the limo that day for the weddign (along with making her bridal party pay for their own hair, make up, shoes, dress) AND she never even got them bridesmaid gifts.

Post # 53
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@OP- How did the conversation turn out? Hopefully good!

Post # 55
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@luvmysailor I saw and responded THANK YOU! Laughing

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