(Closed) How to tell the FFIL ‘no’?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would tell him he had the chance to invite anyone and he chose not to. If they were that important he should have been willing to spend the $ to invite them.

Post # 4
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Just tell him that the guest list is final and you feel uncomfortable doing that.


You could be sneaky and say ok, but not tell him anything.

Post # 5
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Agreeing to this would be unfair for the other parents who did pay for their guests and didn’t ask for the same treatment. I would not be comfortable with this either. S

Post # 6
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I wouldn’t be comfortable with this. I would either have Fiance tell him no, or I wouldn’t say a thing!

Post # 7
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just tell the truth. Tell him you invited more than you really anticipate, and that you really are hoping to keep it around 80…less would be even better to help with costs.


Post # 8
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Besides, most of the “no” responses come right at the end, so by the time you get the RSVP, it’ll be too late to invite anyone else.  It’ll be totally obvious they’re B list. 

Post # 9
581 posts
Busy bee

I fully understand where you are coming from.

I think you and Fiance should do this together and Fiance should back you up.  Then there is no question.  Tell Future Father-In-Law that the list has been finalized and no additional invitations will be mailed or issued.  You have every right to enjoy a wedding with your friends and family and shouldn’t be made to entertain anyone beyond that circle. If regrets are received, I look at it as saving money that can be used in another place!

Best wishes. 

Post # 10
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

“Thanks for being involved, but we’re most comfortable handling the guest list ourselves. We will be sure to let you know if you should start thinking about inviting any more people, but it isn’t looking like that will be necessary.” Repeat every time he tries to bring this up.

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