(Closed) How To Tell Your Boss Your Family Is Priority (vent)

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 3
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would not do this.  I am the same way, but you need to just listen to her and smile.  Don’t create an issue where there doesn’t need to be one!

Post # 4
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wouldn’t say anything. I would show up to work on time and if I don’t, then just stay the extra 2 minutes after. I don’t think this is worth making a big deal out of, but you do have every right to leave at 5 unless you get paid overtime, and you shouldn’t have to be buying supplies.

Post # 5
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

I agree with PP, I would leave it alone. Unless you have an amazing excuse for being “late” AND for having to leave at 5 today I wouldn’t say anything.

Post # 7
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have the same issue. My coworker gets all the time off in the world for her children. And even got extended maternity leave even though she has worked her for less than a year. 

I got yelled at for taking a day off to help my mom when she was in the hospital. 

But we cannot say anything unfortunately. Just suck it up and work 2 extra minutes. 😉

Post # 8
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

If you’re getting crap for not working past 5 when your hours are 8:30-5, next time she mentions it I would just say “my hours are 8:30-5.  If you want me to work longer hours on a regular basis we can negotiate a different schedule; until then, unless there’s something urgent, I’m going to be leaving at 5.

I would not go into your philosophies on work-life balance because I work with somebody like your boss, too, and believe me, she won’t care.

ETA:  Yeah, it was only 2 minutes, but if she’s regularly whining about you not working outside your agreed-upon working hours, try to shut that down!


Post # 10
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@sailor:  +1

@Meant2Bee:  While I wouldnt bring it up again unless SHE does, I totally get where you are coming from.

On my team, pretty much everyone has children. I do not have any of my own, but Fiance has two from a previous relationship. There is one woman who is permitted to leave early a couple of times a week for either a planned school pickup or an “emergency” related to her child that came up and she has to leave. She was also allowed to take a day off for her kids first day of school so she could “get pictures of her getting on the bus.” This same person comes in late nearly every day. It could be affecting her behind the scenes, but nothing I see.

In addition, there is *another* woman who is allowed to leave early every week to drop her kids off at their dads house…and by early, I mean 1:30pm.

…but me asking to leave early to pick up FIs kids? Forget it. Or leaving in early in general, for that matter.

So, trust me: you are not the only one out there dealing with this, unfortunately :-/ Seems to be an entirely different set of standards.

Post # 11
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Meant2Bee:  If you want to keep your job, I wouldn’t say anything. Everyone knows that people prefer being with their families over working so it’s not something that needs to be said. She is the boss, so you need to accomodate her (even if you don’t like her). Arrive at 8:28 AM and ensure all of your work is done. If there is no need to do overtime, then don’t. If there is, then do it (if you want to keep this job).

Post # 12
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think the answer depends on what you want out of this job. If you want a raise/promotion I think you need to combat the perception that you are a clock watcher. If you are happy with things as they are then show up at 8:29 and leave at 5:01. Definitely don’t bring up work/life balance because you are implying that your boss doesn’t make time for her family which probably won’t go over well.

Post # 13
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I spent more than 25 years in the workforce, the majority of which were as an FLSA exempt employee who worked a lot  of hours.

If you are FLSA exempt from overtime but are only working a 40-hour work week, while your boss is working all kinds of extra hours, this likely is not making you look — to her — as if you are invested in your job or your potential for growth within the organization.

It may not seem “fair,” but it may very well be the case.

Post # 14
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I can’t imagine a boss like that! Ugh!

I wouldn’t say anothing, though.

Post # 16
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Meant2Bee:  Well, if you’ve been promoted and have received merit raises, then you definitely are doing good work. 🙂

I used to earn compensatory time as well, and I am very thankful that, for the most part (there were some exceptions), I had bosses who were supportive of my taking it when workload (and office coverage during business hours) permitted.

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