Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor is my fraternal twin sister. My BMs will be in DB short Horizon (royal blue) dresses that don’t match. I told my sister she could wear any short Light Blue dress so she’d stand out. Well, she had a hard time finding one she liked when we went out with the rest of the BMs for their dresses. (I was hoping she’d find one with a similar ‘feel’ to it as theirs).
Finally she ended up with a rather plain strapless light blue dress from DB and added an ivory flower sash to it. All the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses as well as My Dress have ruched or pleated sashes across the natural waist, and I’m worried the flower one just looks too different. (My dress also has a 3-d flower detail on the waist, so I think she was trying to emulate that). But beyond the non-conforming feel, i just don’t think it’s the most flattering dress on her–and I really want her to look fabulous!
Since it was clearance, she only paid $30 for the dress (plus another $30 for the sash) and sort of said “Well, this will do. It’s cheap enough I could find another if I wanted.” So she sounded open to the idea of something else. But I don’t know, she had SUCH a hard time finding this one. She’s also put on weight in the last couple years, so I know she perpetually feels fat in everything.
Should I talk to her? I mean, she doesn’t look bad in the dress, I just think we could do better, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings or anything. Advice?
Post # 3
Coming from someone who a) looks horrible in dresses and b) has also put on weight in the last couple of years…. I would say let her keep the dress. She is sticking within the guidelines that you gave…..
BUT…..If the dress is that horrible (where you think it would ruin the wedding and pictures), yes, feel free to say something – as long as you say it in a positive way, so she won’t have hurt feelings.
Post # 4
Tell her that you really want her to love the dress and feel her best, and that it seemed liek she just settled for the first one, based on what she said. I’d offer to go shopping with her.
Post # 5
Eh. I’d say since she doesn’t look bad, just not great, I’d leave it alone.It just doesn’t seem worth it to risk her feelings.
Has she seen a pic of herself in the dress? If she looks pretty bad and sees it, it may change her mind.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t say anything just yet, but maybe look around and if you find some potential candidates just say “hey, I saw this cute cheap dress, what do you think of it?” and get her trying on other stuff that way
Post # 7
Great advice guys. Thanks! I think I’ll “casually” look around to see if there’s something else worth presenting as an alternative. But if I don’t find one, I’ll just let it go.
@magicpotato: I think I did show her a pic a few weeks ago and her response was like, “Oh, that’s my dress. Huh. Is that what it looked like?” It wasn’t overly negative, but again, not overly positive either.
Post # 8
Maybe you could tell her that since she’s Maid/Matron of Honor that you want her to look as special as she is to you- and that you want her to be in a nicer dress than the bridesmaids- that way it makes it more about making her happy rather than a criticism.
Post # 9
Maybe try to plan a trip to the mall for some girl time and casually try on dresses with her. If you both try them on it may take some of the pressure off her and she may be able to open up to trying on different styles and ideas. This way it’s not like you’re tell her that you don’t like her dress but just want to have a girl’s day of trying on dresses and stuff like that.