(Closed) How to transition from SAHM to working mom?

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
11746 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s soooooo hard at the beginning! For me, it was letting go of my expectations and accepting some messiness. I have gotten more efficient in doing chores. Doing a little every day helps. A cleaning lady even once a month of you can swing it makes a big difference to do all the deep clean stuff you don’t want to do. It sucks at first but it gets better. You just need to get a little creative sometimes and accept that you will have less free time. Darling Husband will need to step it up a boy, too! Have a open conversation with him and tell him exactly what you need! You got this!!!

Post # 3
533 posts
Busy bee

A laminated weekly chore list on the fridge. X off stuff as you do it. It helps stay organized. Honey can see what needs doing and tackle stuff without being reminded.

Unless it will cause major damage don’t fuss over how he does things.

Cook multiple meals at once. I bake chicken covered with a jar of sauce (pesto, salsa etc) and I will make two or three at a time. I never make just one lasagna or meatloaf any more.

Laundry. Make and stick to the rule, ‘If you want it washed, you have to put it in the dirty clothes.’  Try not to buy clothes that need to be ironed.

Dailey shower spray helps. You still need to clean it, but not as soon.

Cut back on the church meetings as soon as you can and don’t take on any new projects until you get your balance back.

Most importantly-Cut yourself some slack.

Post # 4
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

This is not an problem of adjusting to going back to work! It’s not going to get any better because no one mere mortal man or woman can keep to this schedule.

Why work at a job 6 days per week, 9 hours per day? That’s 54 hours working just outside the home. For a woman with children, this is not realistic,

Why isn’t your employer giving you the two paid 15 minute breaks and one lunch break required by law?

if staying in this job is an urgent financial necessity, ( which i question if you can afford a nanny), then I suppose I would do the following until I find an easier job;

ask Darling Husband to mop the kitchen and clean the bathroom weekly especially if he does not work standing all day!! I would ask the nanny to tidy, put away laundry, and clean stove and counter before she leaves so you can cook! I would have date night with Darling Husband once a month at least (any nearby relatives to watch kids?)! I would buy shortcut foods from Trader Joe frozen section that you can use to cook a homemade meal from! Or some of the great frozen healthy pizzas, prepared foods from Whole Foods! I would find fun things to do with your family – free Friday night concert or movie in the park, walk as a family to get ice cream, go swimming, get your kids into some classic rock or current hits so you all can unwind with it after work etc. Ask your church meeting if you can take turns bringing healthy refreshments? If you all can take a few minutes to pray for each other?

Take care of yourself now! Hugs Bee


  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  littlechickie.
Post # 5
1361 posts
Bumble bee

anonladygrace:  Your husband needs to step it up. While the current division of labor works just fine with a stay at home spouse, taking care of kids and household and working full time is way too much for one person. Heck, I don’t have kids and I find it hard to keep up with chores. 

You need to make a clear list of what chores are which person’s responsibility and hold eachother to it. In my house, my husband knows that I will never take out the trash. If he doesn’t do it, it won’t get done. So he does it.

I find my husband generally prefers the tasks that are done once a week such as: mowing lawn, taking out trash, and laundry. Where as I tend to prefer daily things like making the bed, general tidying up, and dishes. 

Also, how old are your children? You’d be surprised how early you can teach them to help you. I remember being very young and making my bed and helping with the dishes. 

Finally, in order to make cooking easier, try prepping on a Sunday. I like to cook big batches of something that the left overs can be eaten all week, such as chilli’s, stews, and casseroles. There is no reason to be slaving in the kitchen on a week night. If something takes me longer than 20 minutes to prep and cook on a weeknight,or requires a bunch of pot’s and pans, I don’t do it! You don’t need to be perfect. There is nothing wrong with sandwiches for dinner.

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