(Closed) How to treat my bridesmaids….need advice!

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

You’re going to get a lot of replies telling you that all your bridesmaids are required to do is show up in the dress you chose and stand next to you at your ceremony, so your two girls who haven’t “contributed” aren’t really out of line.

I do think you were in the right to ask for the stuff to be couriered back to you though – that’s fair enough! But your drop out bridesmaid may have been hoping she could still get to your wedding – why do you think she was not honest with you from the start?

Post # 3
3224 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

DiptiC:  I think you should get over yourself and the idea that your bridesmaids owe you anything. What do they need to contribute to YOUR wedding? I think you should treat them all equally or you’re going to lose a friend and create a lifetime of issues with your Future Sister-In-Law. 

Post # 4
113 posts
Blushing bee

Sounds like you’ve been put under a lot of stress over something you didn’t initially want.


I don’t think you were wrong for asking for the things you paid for to be returned to you if she couldn’t stand in as a Bridesmaid.


Also I think the rest depends on what the girls were signing up for? Did they know they would be assigned tasks and asked to participate or did they think they just needed to show up for the pictures? I think that can often explain a lot of bridesmaids behaviour, because if they wern’t expecting to be asked to do anything they’re not going to be prepared to do anything. Though I think a lot of this boils down to reluctantly selecting bridesmaids when noone initially stood out in your mind.

Post # 5
509 posts
Busy bee

I think you should go with you original plan, and tell your husband you want your true friends to stand up with you, and they happen to be men. 

The second sentence where you said your fiance insisted you pick women…..red flag for me.  Will you do everything he tellls you to do?

Go with your best friends, the boys, and enjoy!

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