Post # 1
I’m the biggest pushover ever and I hate it and don’t know how to not be one. A friend of mine once in a while will ask me to lend her money ($200-$300) I feel like I can’t say no without sounding mean or selfish. I’m not sure why she needs it, she does’t have any credit cards or school debt. She lives with her parents who pay the bills and she has a 9yr old son to which she gets child support for from her ex. She does tend to shop quite a bit I notice in the past. We work together and she makes approximately the same as me which is $50,000. The past few times she asked she takes awhile to pay it back and it’s starting to get uncomfortable. She just asked me again today to borrow $300 because she said she has to pay her insurance asap. I’m not sure why she doesn’t ask her parents or her 2 sisters or her best friends.How do I say no politely without offending her?
Post # 3
@littlemiss604: just say you don’t have it. I never lend money to friends, it’s too much drama.
Post # 4
You can say you dont have it…or you can just be honest: “sorry sister, I dont lend anyone money.”
Post # 5
Just say you don’t have it. Seems like she might be feeding an addiction of some kind…
Post # 6
@littlemiss604: You can simply say “I can’t right now”. If she has the gall to ask why not say something vague like “I’m not in the position to at the moment” or, even better, “I don’t feel comfortable discussing my finances with friends, sorry.” Which would HOPEFULLY clue her into the fact that she shouldn’t be coming to a friend with HER financial issues.
I’ve had this issue with my family and a couple friends. Once you say no once or twice they usually stop asking. It’s totally uncomfortable those couple times, but then you don’t have the recurring discomfort of playing collection agency further downt the line.
Post # 7
@littlemiss604: Start by realizing your friend is taking advantage of you. True friends don’t do that. You have no obligation whatsoever to help her out especially when you are paid nearly the same and she seems to get by just fine otherwise. YOU are not her bank and YOU can’t afford to have her take her sweet time paying you back. Get a little angry and stand up for yourself. Then approach her calmly and say, “Gosh, I’m sorry you’re having troubles but I am unable help you. Have you tried your (insert sister, mother, bank, distant cousin) for a loan?” Put the question back on her and force her to find another solution, much like you are put on the spot to help her all the time. THE END. You owe her no reason, no debate, nothing.
Post # 8
@littlemiss604: I’m not sure why she doesn’t ask her parents or her 2 sisters or her best friends.How do I say no politely without offending her?
Easy : because they will probably say no and she knows it. For what you know, she doesn’t have a credit card, but I don’t know many people who don’t have school loans and no rent to pay, having to ask 300$ to one of their friends to pay their assurance. I am highly suspicious of this situation, I’m not sure you will see that money any time soon. Just say you don’t have it.
I might have watched ”Prince$$” too often this summer, but irresponsible shopping addicts with ”secret debts” and multiple (loaded) credit cards, while their parents didn’t seem to know, happened every single episode. What you say about her makes me think she’s probably this kind of person, unfortunately.
Post # 9
I think you should just be honest and say you’re not comfortable lending out money as it can cause problems later. Frankly her money woes are not your problem and it’s not fair for her to try and make it your problem.
Post # 10
I loaned money to a friend who was my roommate once. It put cracks into our relationship that started us on the path that led to both of my roommates emotionally abusing me. I will never lend money to a friend again.
Post # 11
Just tell her your not able to lend. Short and simple. If she pushes for more detail say that it’s not something you can afford now, and keep it vauge. If she asks again in the future do the same thing and eventually she’ll stop asking you.
Post # 12
Does she currently owe you any money from any of her previous requests, or is her “account” with you paid in full as of now?
Post # 13
Do I lend money to friends? Nope nope nope!
I was going to say, “Just say no!” But actually I think the other posters have a great idea to instead say, “I don’t have it.” You absolutely don’t owe her this unless you borrowed $300 and didn’t pay it back yet. (No?)
You can do this! You can. It’ll be awkward the first time you say no, but it’s going to be ok.
Post # 14
Don’t make excuses, just say no.
You:”I’m sorry, but I can’t lend you any more money.
Her: I’ll pay it back. I always do.
You: I’m sorry, but I can’t lend you the money.
Her: But you have before…
You: I’m sorry, but I won’t be doing that again.
etc etc etc
Post # 15
I only lend money if I’m okay with not getting it back.
Post # 16
If I suspected it was her shopping or just bad spending habits, I would definitely not lend it. Just say you dont have it. If you work together, just brush it off like, oh we make the same, if you dont have any spare cash, what makes you think I do!