(Closed) How to turn down “friendors?”

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

say you want them to be able to relax and enjoy the wedding instead of worrying about working it.

Post # 18
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Thank them for their generosity, but tell them you’ve already found a photographer.

I have a friend who is just getting into photography and is AMAZING. That said, her lack of experience worries me. Turns out, my pro photographer LOVES to mentor. So my pro has already taken my friend on a couple of weddings as a “second shooter.” (They work really well together and the final product is fantastic!) And my friend will “second shoot” my wedding as well.

If your pro doesn’t include an engagement shoot, you could also ask the friends to do those.

Post # 19
6 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

kitzy (message)    June 2011  

say you want them to be able to relax and enjoy the wedding instead of worrying about working it.

karenski (message)    April 10, 2011   SoCal

Wondering what would happen if you told them you appreciate the offer but you’d rather let them just enjoy the wedding as guests? Or, if they’re not invited, that you worry about mixing friendship/business – you’d rather not risk your friendship… I’m thinking that would give a positive spin on things. The bottom line is that you have the right to choose who you hire for your wedding, and if you want someone with experience that’s ok.

Agree with these wise ladies entirely!  My mum with the very best of intentions mentioned to a few of her friends that are photographers that we were in need of a photographer for our wedding.  She thought she would “save us money”.  Well, as much as we wanted to be fiscally responsible we also wanted to ensure we got photos that were reflective of the us.  We politely declined and said we wanted them as guests and for us to enjoy the day with us and not be at work!  These photographers still took lots of pictures and they were lovely for mum…she raved at how quick they were able to get the photos to her.   Also, as another poster mentioned some professional photographers strictly state in their contracts that there should be no other professional photographers working at the wedding so make sure that it’s clear what will be happening. 

Good luck!

Post # 20
2492 posts
Buzzing bee

Tell them that you appreciate the offer but you already have that aspect taken care.

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