- 2 years ago
- Wedding: June 2018
*I want to start this post off by saying I know that this is awkward and pretty tacky, but it needs to be done. Also, adding to the drama, the said friend below is our neighbor, two doors down. *
I proposed to my fiance in November of 2016. In the Spring of last year, I asked one of my good friends to be a groomsman. Well, he was married about a month later, in April and comes to find out that a month after they were married, she was cheating on him with a patron at her restaurant and didn’t know who she wanted to be with. It was hard for us, too, because we were friends with her. He was a wreck. He would come to our place, and pour his feelings out to us day after day. It was very difficult to watch. Over the next 5-6 months she would say she wanted to be with him, and then a few days later say she wanted to be with her boyfriend. And then a few weeks later say she wanted to be with our friend, and then switch back and forth. All in all, she probably changed her mind about 15 times. Not even exaggerating. During this time my friendship with him became strained, because when she chose the other guy, he would come over to boo hoo to us about it. We had told him time and time again that what she was doing to him was ridiculous and he needed to move on. But then, when she would come back to him, he wanted nothing to do with us and it would be absolute radio silence. He then would come crawling back to our front door when she eventually would change her mind. He said he would stay and wait for her as many times as she would flip flop. In October she said her final decision was to be with her bf and she could never be happy with our friend. He eventually stopped talking with us because we weren’t telling him what he wanted to hear, which was that he should wait for her to come back, and he went and lived with other friends on the other side of town. I haven’t heard anything from him in almost two months. This has obviously fractured our friendship.
She had been staying at her bf’s since Oct. Now all of a sudden, she started staying back home and now he is staying there and they are back together for the 1,000,000th time, even though she just said two months ago she could never be happy with him…
I was cheated on in a previous marriage, so I have absolutely ZERO tolerance for cheating. Needless to say, there is absolutely no way we are going to be friends with her. The cheating is bad enough, but the flip flopping for 6 months may be worse. She was able to have her cake and eat it too, while keeping both guys on a string.
After taking a step back, and assessing the situation, I don’t see how this can be salvaged. He had shown a pattern of being a user of friends before, but we just ignored it. Now, we feel used even more.
Neither of us want to have him in our wedding. How can we un-ask him to be in our wedding party?