(Closed) How to un-ask someone to be a bridesmaid???

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Uneven sides are more important than hurting a friend. 

I am having three bridesmaids and my beloved Kelpie and my partner is having one best man plus his dog. 


Post # 32
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

As many other Bees have pointed out, a wedding is one day and friends are (or can be) forever. You have asked three of your best friends to stand up with you and support & witness your marriage. That is no small thing, and un-asking them would likely be hurtful.

It’s very convenient for your Fiance to limit his side to 3 people (and NOT family only) and then to demand that you do the same. It is understandable that he does not want to invite anyone else to stand up with him, but the people you feel are most important to you should not be hampered from standing alongside you because of an “evenness” aesthetic. That’s just wrong.

A large bridal party can get expensive, but only for a wedding that gets expensive! Better to have uneven numbers, DIY the bouquets from paper or wildflowers, let the ladies choose dresses out of their closet, and give them handwritten thank-you letters from the heart, than to cut two out so you can buy their clothes and makeup and give them floral robes as gifts. These things just do not matter.

Your friends will understand you not being able to pay for lots of stuff. What they won’t understand is being un-invited.

Post # 33
13707 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There’s no nice way to do this, and there’s no way to spare hurt feelings.  Sorry, un-asking someone is just plain rude.

Post # 34
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I asked one of my bridesmaids to step down, depending on how strong your friendships are, they will be understanding. A lot of ladies on here can’t fathom asking BM’s to step down, but in reality it isn’t as bad as it seems. Good luck to you and I hope it all works out how you want! You could still ask your other friends to stay involved, like personal attendants, gift runners, etc. 

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