(Closed) how to un ask someone to be a bridesmaid?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I don’t think you have a good enough reason to fire her (yet).  This may just be something you’re going to have to live with.  Firing her will probably end your friendship, but if you’re alright with happening, do it.

Post # 4
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Personally, I don’t think it’s very nice of you to un-ask her.  Especially since she hasn’t *done* anything (yet) to deserve to be fired.  It’s kind of your fault that you didn’t think it through properly before asking her.  If she is indeed the dramatic kind, she’ll probably not want to be friends with you after this.  So if you are willing to pay that price, then go ahead and un-ask her.

Keep in mind that if you guys have common friends, then this will get around and she might say some not-very-nice things about you.

This might cause more drama than leaving her in the wedding party!

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I wouldn’t unask her just yet.  I think you are speculating on what she might do and you may find that she will be incredibly undramatic and cooperative in the affairs of your wedding.

I wouldn’t start the drama of unasking her until absolutely necessary!

 Good Luck!

Post # 6
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You know what is SO terrible? I feel that way about one of my girls too. Seems such a shame. On her end too, you know? Because if you aren’t that good of friends than it stinks that she has to spend her time and money on your wedding.

You’ll have to keep me updates on what you do; I might need help too. On the other end, I’m set to be in someones wedding that I dont feel that I’m close enough friends with, and I will not have the funds to be in her wedding as she is getting married a little after me.

I’m going to have to get the courage to discuss this with her too. If she’s a true friend though, I think she’ll understand. 

 

Post # 7
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

You must have asked her to be in your wedding for some reason, so if I were you, I wouldn’t try to unask her when she’s done nothing specific to warrant it.

Could you try talking to her about her "tendencies?"  Or, maybe you could give her some job or responsibility to keep her busy the day of the wedding. If she’s busy or distracted, she may not have a chance to be dramatic.  One last suggestion…you could fib a little bit and tell her something like: "I’m kind of nervous that there will be drama between the bridesmaids the day of the wedding.  Can you help me make sure everybody is relaxed and gets along?"  (I’ve used that one before with friends, and it worked for me.)

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