- 4 years ago
Hi ladies! New to this site, just looking for some help. My bf and I are both 30 years old, both have one son each (both age 7), and also have good jobs. We’ve been together for 2 1/2 years now, and it hasn’t been until recently that the engagement bug has really been bothering me.
Back in February, we took a trip to Tahiti. And I didn’t really think of it at the time, but a few friends of his said in front of both of us, “Hey, so you guys getting engaged”. He immediately said, “No, not me. Not getting married”. And they jokingly laughed about it. I was so pissed after that. I understand the whole banter about it, but to say that in front of me, made it seem like there was something wrong with me. That’s the way I seen it, but after a bunch of yelling and crying, he insist it was just him playing around with the guys. Mind you, we’ve discussed marriage and kids before, and we both stated to each other that this is what we want. But just hearing that made me so angry.
So last week, we took a trip to Hawai’i for my birthday. And again, the same thing. Someone mentions getting engaged and he immediately starts saying, “Nope, not getting married.” And then laughing. That basically ruined my vacation. In the pool one afternoon, after a couple of drinks, I asked him bluntly, “why don’t you want to marry me? What’s wrong with me and why are you even with me if that’s not the goal”. He proceeds to tell me that he’s not ready, and it’ll happen soon enough. So I angrily told him, “You know what, I don’t even want to marry you anymore. I’m not going to marry someone who doesn’t want to marry me.”
Then he gets upset and tells me that he was planning on proposing when we go to New York in a few months and that he was going to buy the ring in September. He proceeds to tell me how he’s talked to his friends and family about it already and how he’s going to do it. I do believe him about the whole set up, but at the same, I was so angry at him.
Now, I’m in this situation where I’m trying to get that engagement spark back, but Idk how to go about it. I understand him not being ready now, but I wish he would have said something along the lines like, “We’ll Get engaged eventually” instead of straight up “Not me” . I don’t feel like I was in the wrong to get mad, but now I just want to fix it. Any advice would be helpful! Thanks!