(Closed) How to unruin the engagement moment

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Honestly, with 2 kids in the picture those kinds of jokes and the desperation to be liked by his male friends would definitely make me question this guy’s character. He has a family now, and its even trickier that you both have kids from a past relationship. If I was in your situation, I’d wouldn’t be tolerating jokes about marriage and vague bullshit talk about how he was going to propose maybe someday. Its not just about you and him, you both have kids. If he is going to marry you then he needs to stop being such a coward with his friends and actually be honest with them about his intent to marry you. And if he doesn’t intend to marry you he needs to stop being a coward and be honest with you. Either way, he’s acting horribly immature and I don’t think this is the kind of role model I would want for my child. 

ETA: I just read you both have two sons. Please realise that your partner and your relationship with him is going to have a substantial impact on how both your boys view women and how they believe they should behave in relationships when they are adults. Think carefully about the values you want your son to hold as he grows, and if being in a relationship with this man is going to positively contribute to these values. 

Post # 17
Member
465 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I wouldn’t believe a word of it until you actually see a ring in September. September is only two months away. How is he saying marriage is not for me but I’ll be ready in September. Sorry, he’s a bull sh*tter.

 

Post # 18
Member
634 posts
Busy bee

Yeah, no. I wouldn’t stay with him if I had a kid to take care of. 

I had an ex like this, when we were dating he angrily (and drunkenly) told me in November that he’d been planning to propose on Valentine’s Day but I RUINED IT BY BEING SUCH A B*TCH. 

The next Valentine’s Day, I snarkily brought up that this would have been our engagement day, knowing full well he’d been lying through his teeth in November. Big surprise, he didn’t remember that he’d even said that, and couldn’t keep his story straight when I went on to describe the proposal he claimed to have spent months working on. 

He’s an ex for a reason. Your man sounds cut from the same cloth. 

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