Post # 16
janedw: stillme: Hyperventilate: freckles071611: Initially, I wasn’t going to mention anything on the invites and was planning to tell people who asked about registries that their prescence at our wedding is enough and we don’t really have room for gifts in our small flat. However, we are having a relatively small weddings with close friends and family (about 70 guests) so I’ve spoken about the wedding with most of the guests. When I tell them to please not get us anything, I realised it won’t be happening and they are going to get us gifts anyways. That’s when I thought that if they were going to do this anyways, maybe we can come to a compromise with alternative such as vouchers instead.
futuremrscrow: Do you think it’s rude if someone asked you to not buy them anything for their wedding because they just don’t have the space in their flat?
Post # 17
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
lunaman: I personally wouldn’t include anything. If someone wants to get you a gift, they will – if you aren’t registered anywhere, then they’ll likely give cash, etc. instead without being “instructed” to do so.
As for gifts you recieve and don’t have space for – this is what return policies are for. Most stores are happy to return items for store credit (and if you have no reason to ever shop there again – save the credit for the holidays and use it then).
Any “formal” or written mention of gifts will end up rubbing some people the wrong way. Personally, I’d jsut skip it all together and let your guests do what feels best for them.
Post # 18
There is no polite way to mention gifts on a wedding invitation, even if you’re saying “no gifts”. It’s presumptuous. I would just not register. You can return for cash/store credit or donate anything else that youre given. I think being from a cash giving culture is all the more reason NOT to ask for cash. You’re then instructing them how to follow their own cultural codes and traditions which is again, rude.
Post # 19
I’ve seen a couple of wedding invites state “no boxed gifts please” aka cash, you could do that.
Post # 20
Thank you for your replies, everyone. I think my objective is to convince our friends and families that we are already grateful enough for their attendance at our wedding and we would genuinely appreciate it if they didn’t get us any gifts. I guess my preference is 1. no gifts (including no vouchers/money) 2. Vouchers/Money (if they felt like they need to gift us something as some of them have stated). I know some of you have said to be thankful for any gifts, but honestly I would be more thankful if everyone just didn’t get us anything. I don’t think I will mention anything in the invite anymore, but my initial intention was to not have people waste money on things we are just going to return anyways. The request for vouchers/money idea came about when I found out they were going to get us gifts anyways. Thanks again!
Post # 21
lunaman: We had a similar situation, so on our website we said something like, “We don’t have a registry. If you really want to give something, please consider making a donation to charity in our honour.” That headed off pretty much all physical gifts (except a few small sentimental things), and our friends actually listened. Aunts and uncles gave money anyway.
Post # 22
If you really don’t want gifts: Tell them you have everything you need. If they persist, suggest that they buy themself a gift and that would make you happiest.
If you really want cash: Sorry, I got nothing.
But please for the love of all things holy, no poems.
Post # 23
Just don’t say anything and if asked say you don’t need anything. People will get the hint.
Post # 24
No mention of gifts is appropriate on an invitation, including “no gifts.”
Obviously you shouldn’t register, but contrary to what some people are implying, this does not hint that you want money. All it says that you are not thinking about gifts or the expectation of gifts at all.
If you want to spread the word through close friends or family, they can tell people who ask that you have everything you need but they know you are saving for X.
People have the prerogative to give a gift, though, and if they do, you should always thank them graciously. If you really have no need for the item, you can always return it, sell it, or give it away.
Post # 25
LOL, those terrible poems…..
And I hate the honeyfund idea too. Hate it . If I was asked for that , I would give them a large ugly vase . At the airport .
Post # 26
Just say nothing. People will get the hint that you want cash. Mentioning gifts at all is rude. People will bring you something, whether its a physical gift or cash — and at that point, you can decide if you want to try to return or donate a physical gift.
Post # 27
Don’t register for anything. If guests give you something, use it as an upgrade and get rid of the original or return the gift for store credit.
Post # 28
My friend did not have a wedding registry & she said 75% of guests gave them cash or gift cards to places. I think it’s tacky to ask for cash, no matter what the wording is. But if you don’t register at all, then guests may take a hint.