How to word a thank you card for a guest who didn't show but sent a gift

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2888 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

“Dear Aunty, 

Thank you so much for the waffle maker! We look forward to using it for many breakfasts in the years to come. We missed you dearly at the wedding and hope to see you soon!”

Don’t get involved in your aunt’s drama but remember that relationships are a two way street. If she is having issues maintaining relationships in the family she probably just didn’t feel welcome. You obviously have no idea what happened between the two and her reason for not attending may have been very valid. It sounds as if she DID want to be there but maybe thought it be best if she did not get into it with your other aunt during your reception. I would also stop giving her the silent treatment, you aren’t five years old. If her skipping the wedding hurt your feelings, you need to talk to her about it directly like an adult. It sounds like she could really use an advocate in the family to figure out why she is having so many issues maintaining her relationships instead of just one more person who calls her a “black sheep.”

Post # 4
13528 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s hard not to get involved in family drama, but I second the PP and try to stay out of it.  The drama with your mother and aunts should not be the reason that you no longer have a relationship with your aunt.  It seems like your aunt does want to have a relationship with you; she sent you a gift for your wedding and acknowledged that it wasn’t you, but the drama, that kept her from the wedding.  PP wisely suggested having an adult conversation with her.  The childish response of the silent treatment is never going to solve any of your issues.

That being said, to answer your question – write the thank you note as you would to any other guest who didn’t attend but sent a gift. Graciously thank them, indicate how you will or have used the item, and then say that you mised celebrating with them but would like to catch up soon. 

Post # 5
6303 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

glitterandshine :  what PPs said. Thank her for the gift, say you missed her and hope to catch up, and leave it at that. How you then choose to proceed in terms of the future relationship you have with her is up to you (I re-evaluated a number of relationships after our wedding), however, from what you have said I do think there are two sides to this.

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