(Closed) How to word invitation when one set of parents is contributing more $$

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Papillon23:  I would just word with you and your FI’s names along with your parents request the honor of your presence at your marriage ceremony…etc… That way everyone is happy. 🙂 Just a thought.

Post # 4
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Papillon23:  I agree w/Lovelylight. You can just put both your names following w/your parents.

 

We’re paying for our entire wedding, but we’re including both our parents’ names on the invite, too.

Post # 5
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

“Together with their familes [bride and groom] invite you to etc” or something like that.

Post # 7
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@distracts:  This is what we’re doing with no contributions from either side.  I think it should be about honoring the parents and not who spent more.  Otherwise FI’s name would be in bold and mine in size 2font lol.

Post # 8
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

Together with their parents (name1), (name2), (name3), and (name4), Papillon and Mr. Papillon cordially invite you to…

Your parent want their names on the invite. It’s a small thing in the grand scheme of things to make them happy. Don’t worry about who’s contributing how much. Just put everyone’s name on it.

Post # 9
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

AHHH I just dealt with this!!

my parents are giving 10K and his parents $0

This selfish part of me wants everyone to know that my parents are helping and his aren’t because im surprised my parents can afford it (i almost think they can’t!) and his mom wont even get a job..

i ended up putting…

“Together With Mr. and Mrs. My Parents and Mr. and Mrs. His parents, I and Him invite you….”

 

i did it to avoid conflict, but my parents are wayyyyy more hosting

Post # 10
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Usually the rehearsal dinner is a separate invitation/event than the wedding so I would only include your parents on the invite amd have your in laws invite people to the rehearsal dinner. I would also double check with both sets of parents that they are ok with this. 

Post # 11
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We are putting “Together with their parents”, as my parents have gifted us a siginificant amount of money, but frankly, his parents can’t afford, nor do I expect them to.  Both sets of parents will be putting their sweat-equity into our mostly DIY wedding.  Truly to me, it doesn’t matter who pays for what…

Post # 12
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Papillon23:  I agree with @distracts: , it wouldn’t be right to only include one set of parents as both are contributing. Your Future In-Laws are contributing, you may not be seeing that $5K personally or it going to your wedding, but if they offered up cold hard cash instead and your Fiance still had to pay back his debt you would be seeing that payment happening and it would likely affect your wedding plans.

Post # 13
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Who’s names are going on the rehersal dinner invites?

And OP I know it’s hard because it’s not going towards the wedding  but $5k write off on debt is AWESOME… you guys can use that $5k towards a house or something.

Post # 14
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Papillon23:  Unless you two will be keeping completely separate finances, the 5k loan forgiveness is just the same as a cash gift to you both. And even if you do keep separate finances, it IS your FI’s wedding too, so it would still impact how much he is able to spend on the wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

We did:

 

My Name

and

FI’s Name

Together with their parents

My Parents

and

His parents

Blah blah blah

Post # 16
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Papillon23:  If his parents are forgiving $5000 of your FI’s debt isn’t that a generous gift no matter if it’s a check you use towards your wedding or a debt you don’t have to repay? Once you become husband and wife wouldn’t you be saving the five grand? To me it seems his parents are “contributing” more than just $500.

@FutureDrZ:  After reading your responce I looked at several of your posts regarding your Mother-In-Law. I feel you have a tad of bitterness towards his mother. Your parents generous offer towards your wedding is an awesome gift but it’s just that… a gift. They saved their money to put towards your wedding. His parents (mother) seems frugal and it’s her choice to contribute or not and obviously she doesn’t share your vision. Even though she not putting any money towards the wedding she is entitled to her opinions/suggestions. Since you have very different tastes and would never consider any of them,  they are just that… her opinions and suggestions. You shouldn’t have to put $$ towards something just because you have an opinion. Have you ever suggested an idea to a friend without paying for the said event? You’re going to have many many years with this woman in your life. Please, for your own sanity don’t take everything that she says as if you’re seriously considering it. Let her have a voice but let it run in one ear and out the other.

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