How to word invitations for tricky situation

posted 11 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I’ve found some helpful websites on this as I’m also struggling with wording… and suggestion in those circumstances has been to put (daughter of mr father surname) after your name. Hope that helps 

Post # 3
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

How does your Mom feel about it?

My Mom gave us money towards the wedding, so we asked if she wanted the invitations to come ‘from’ her. She said she didn’t, and she viewed us as hosting our own wedding (we also paid quite a lot for it, and organised everything. We are an older couple). We didn’t include the names of our parents at all in the end.

TBH I was relieved she felt that way, because trying to find the right words would have been very hard! She’s married to my Step-Dad, and my real Dad is dead, as are my husband’s parents. Would have read more like an Obiturary!

Post # 4
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2019

 

How about:

Mary Sue

invites to you to celebrate the marriage of

Cindy Smith

her daughter with Jim Green

to 

Dave Jones

son of Larry and Kelly Jones

 

(With the italicized parts being much smaller, and you and your fiance’s names being the biggest)

Post # 5
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
taylorgorman26 :  We had a similar issue, and ended up just doing the “Together with their families, My name and Darling Husband name invite you” 

Any other option ended up looking far too wordy on the invite.  My dad  was technically hosting so I checked with him first and he couldn’t care less how the invites were laid out.

Darling Husband then gave dad a shout-out for his contribution to the wedding during the speech, so you could always do that with your mum? 

Post # 6
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Definitely check with your mom! My parents hosted but when I asked them thought it would be weird to have just their names and not DH’s parents names on the invite. 

Post # 7
Hostess
9136 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

My parents contributed financially, my in laws didn’t. We wrote, Mrs_Beer and Mr_Beer, along with their parents. My parents were 100% with that. 

 

ETA: We hosted, paid for the majority and organised it all by ourselves.

Post # 8
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

We just wrote ”Together with their families”

Why does everyone need to know who paid?

Post # 9
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Who’s hosting the event? It’s a common misconception that the person who paid is always the host. 

EDIT: Just saw that you said your mom is the host…I would use the “son of/daughter of” language in that case if you want people to be specifically named

Post # 10
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

“Mary Sue invites you to the wedding of her daughter,

Mary Jane 

to 

John Doe”

 

Are the grooms parents hosting the reception dinner? Or are they contributing anything? If so, I’d go with, “Together with their parents”.

Honestly… it’s an invite. It isn’t the same thing as sharing who paid for the wedding. I’d probably go with “together with their parents” then do a speech at the wedding and thank my mom for hosting the wedding. If you think it needs to be publicly recognized. 

Post # 11
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

My parents are paying for our wedding. Technically they gave me a lump sum and told me anything I didn’t spend I could keep. I put both my parents and his on the top of the invite. My parents wanted to extend that courtesy to his parents and they were happy to be included. I think the whole point of a wedding is to join families together and facilitate that loving coming together. So I think it’s best to just approach the entire thing with trying to be as inclusive as you possibly can. My parents are secure enough to not care what guests think about who paid. That’s a mature approach. Just include the parents and let guests just think what they want who cares. You can always give a speech at the wedding thanking your mom specifically anyways. 

Post # 12
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I’d put “together with their parents”. That’s what we put. My mom is paying for probably about half, my dad is paying for a bit under half and we’re contributing a small amount. My mom said she didn’t care about having her name on it, and she thought it would be nice if FH’s parents were included even though they aren’t contributing (they’re paying for the rehearsal dinner). So, it depends on your mom’s feelings about it. If she doesn’t care about having her actual name on it, then “together with their parents” is the way to go. Then if you give a short speech at the wedding you can thank your mom for all she has done.

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