(Closed) How to word no children at wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

Address each person by name. Don’t name children. No vague ‘the smiths’. 

It should be obvious then. Personally I don’t like ‘adult only reception’ on invites as it doesn’t really matter either way. If you’re named, you’re invited but if you’re not on there, you’re not. That includes children. 

Post # 3
Member
698 posts
Busy bee

I am having a No children wedding in August.

You do not put no children on the actual invitation, only put on the RSVP. I worded it as “Adult Only Celebration – No Children Please”. Some may not like this, but it is the only real way to get the point across. On the addressed wedding invitation, you do not mention the childrens name, only parents.

I also put on my wedding website. We will have 2 flower girls and a ring bearer (7/8 ys old)but they will be leaving early in the reception.

Post # 4
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
raerae84120:  It’s actually considered rude to say who is NOT invited. So when you send out your invitations, make sure you put the names of the people invited on the invitation. 

And if anyone RSVPs for them + kids, you’ll have to reach out to them and say sorry, only you are invited.

Post # 5
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Agree with PP. Never specify who ISN’T invited. Make it clear by the invitation who IS invited and even have your RSVP’s accordingly such as “we have reserved ____ seats in your honor” 

Post # 6
Member
4888 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
raerae84120:  We addressed our invitations by name, which indicated who was invited. We also had a part on our RSVP card that said “We have reserved ___ seats in your name”, and put the number of people invited in there. Most of them were just 2, as in JUST the couple, or guest +1.

We only invited kids that we were related to, so it did confuse a couple people (OK, only one person and it was a friends wife) when they saw thet RSVP card had a Children’s Meal but that their child was not invited.

Post # 7
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My invitations were addressed to the adults only and on the invitation it says specifically “Adult Only Reception To Follow”

Post # 8
Member
698 posts
Busy bee

If I didn’t have to put “No Children” on RSVP and just put the people who is invited on the invitation I would dothat.

 

HOWEVER, I know my family. Even if I put just Bob and Sue…. they are going to assume I meant the entire family and their 4 young children will show up. They are a little rough around the edges EEEEE!

Post # 9
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

I saw someone in a post similar to this put on their website a few local babysitters or child daycare centers and I though that was a good *hint hint* 

Post # 10
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
raerae84120:  I put “Adult only reception to follow” on the invites. I know people hate that and I don’t care. I don’t want kids at my wedding! I didn’t want to risk only addressing it to the couple invited since several of them do have children and wanted to nip it in the bud in case. If that offends them, then they won’t come, but my guess is most people don’t really want to drag their kids along to a kind of fancy wedding. 

Post # 11
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

All you need to do is put “Adult Reception” on the invites. You can include that on your website as well, but you do not need to defend your reasoning to your guests. If you are contacted individually after the invites are sent out, I would be ready to sternly deny any requests for an exception as they arise (if they arise). from the experience of a few of my friends, once you make one exception, everyone else magically seems to find out and push for their kids, so if you do make any exception be very careful to whom you make them. 

Post # 12
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Ballroom

We are also having a grown-ups only event (save for five relatives who are all 13 and up).  I’ve told all my close friends as well as FI’s close friends and both of our parents have marching orders to enforce/reinforce our position that small children are not invited.  We’re also doing a “# of seats reserved for you” on our RSVP cards, just in case anyone is unable to comprehend. 

Post # 13
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

1. Website set-up, before StDs were sent out. It included the “adult guests 21+” information on it. 2. Magnet StD addressed to the invited guests/adults mailed out 10 months before the wedding, with the website address on them. (Only one couple unable to find a babysitter, given 10 months notice). 3. Invitations addressed to the adults. 4. RSVPs done on wedding website. We input the invited guest names only, so it wasn’t possible to respond for anyone not on the list.

One exception – couple who brought their kids to an adult only wedding a few years ago. They got an e-mail from my husband (one of his relatives). Their StD was inside the e-mail and it stated “Adult guests 21+,” on it. They ended up not RSVPing/boycotted, because of it, even though they have a nanny. Whatever …

Post # 14
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Be very clear on the invitation — Adults ONLY.

Do not rely on them to understand that if the kid’s name is not included, the kid is not invited.

We had a family add their 3 kids to the RSVP though it had been addressed to the parents.  We decided to let it slide; then all five were no-shows

Post # 15
Member
13656 posts
Honey Beekeeper

As an etiquette question, it’s always considered rude to put Adults Reception or No Children on any invitation. Invitations are meant to offer hospitality, not deny it. The proper approach is to invite people by name. If people respond vaguely, without specifying who is attending, or for extra people, you can always follow up. If they say they are bringing their children, just tell them there’s been a misunderstanding, etc. 

It is no more correct to include this information on your website, although the earlier suggestion to include  babysitting info is a great one. On a similar note, it can be very considerate  to arrange for a babysitter on or near the premises, and this information can be included as well.  

The rationale for all this is that you would be insinuating that even your polite guests are either too stupid to read an invitation  or too rude to care. I’d rather deal with a little inconvenience and make a few calls, personally. 

I’ve been to countless weddings, and where I live the fear of this happening seems absent. Not a single person has ever told me that someone crashed the wedding with their children and I’ve never received a single invitation with this phrase on it. 

The topic ‘How to word no children at wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors