(Closed) How to word RSVP follow up

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
4054 posts
Honey bee

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kcoast :  “you comin’ or nah?” 😂 jk, but I would probably say something like:

“Can you believe it’s only (amount of time) until the wedding? We’re so excited! Unfortunately, we don’t seem to have your RSVP card, but we’re hoping to see you there. Will you be able to attend?”

Post # 3
Member
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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kcoast :  Not direct enough. The answer to your question could very well be ” I think we will be able to attend.” Make the wording clear and time limited so you don’t end up having to contact them again.

“I’m contacting you because our rsvp date has passed and our caterer needs final numbers. If we don’t hear from you by ____ (give them 24 hrs) we will have to assue that you are unable to attend and will miss you at the wedding.”

Post # 5
Member
3437 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

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BMoreBecc :  I legit felt like texting exactly that yesterday. 😂

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kcoast :  Agree with
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julies1949 :  your msg isn’t direct enough. You’ll get some wishy washy folks and still not have a confirmation. We made it clear the deadline has passed, our venue needs an accurate guest count and if we didn’t receive a response by 08/29 they would be marked as a no. Had 11 people to follow up with out of 58 yesterday, down to 4 still pending.

Post # 7
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

Follow julies1949 advice.  Perfect wording! 

Post # 8
Member
3437 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

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kcoast :  People are frustratingly annoying when it comes to RSVPs. You’re so nice to plan on accommodating surprise guests. Fiance has had it with people “No RSVP means no seat, no plate and no entry. Hope they enjoy the drive.” My mother suggested we get a bouncer to keep out the pop ups. lol I keep telling myself this could have been a lot worse based on other RSVP posts on WB and that helps a little.

Post # 9
Member
1215 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I have a related question…do you think it’s okay to only follow up with the people we think are coming or may be coming, and not with the people we don’t expect to come? If we’re pretty sure they won’t come? We have about 80 so far, are expecting 100, and actually invited 200, of which a whole bunch were courtesy invites to FI’s family who we weren’t expecting to make the trip. I’m just afraid if we do follow up with the people who haven’t responded, who we aren’t expecting to come, they’ll feel guilt-tripped into it. Is that silly? Our RSVPs are online, so it should be relatively quick to let us know one way or the other, and the only people who might not be able to figure out how have already told us their response so we logged it for them. Our deadline is this Saturday.

Post # 10
Member
7989 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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mrsptobe2017 :  You should still follow up with them. Future Mother-In-Law had us invite a bunch of random family members, and while we had a much higher decline rate than we were expecting, a few of these randoms are coming! So you can’t always tell for sure, and you need FOR SURE numbers for your caterer. Leaving 100 invites in the air is super risky. 

Post # 11
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Just text this to everyone. 

Post # 12
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I think the wording from PP is good, but I wanted to add – since the date was yesterday, I’d maybe give it a couple more days before you reach out. Some people may have put their RSVPs in the mail on your cutoff date, so a few could still be en route to your mailbox.

Post # 13
Member
569 posts
Busy bee

So I actually used a website service, as opposed to mail. Because of that, I have been more direct – “Hi asldkf, I hope is well. I was going through my wedding spreadsheets, I noticed we haven’t received your RSVP yet. While we hope we can celebrate with you, we completely understand if you are unable to make it. Please let me know either way. Here is the link to the website (link) when you respond “no” you are finished, if you respond “yes,” this will unlock your food options.” 

Post # 14
Member
14015 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I would try hard to make a personal phone call, at least to start with. It is hard to discern tone in a text and making deadlines and assumptions etc can come across a lot more negative, blunt, and accusatory than on the phone. 

Sometimes invitations or replies really are delayed or lost in the mail. Also, I would follow through with everyone, not just those who you think may come. You don’t want to take chance that people might just show up. It happens.

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