(Closed) How to word the invitation?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8881 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

forget who is paying for a minute.


who is hosting? since you are mostly paying, i say you are the hosts, why don’t you say:


NYBee123 &
Mr NYBee123
invite you to share and celebrate at their wedding



you can always thank your mom, aunt, etc at the rehearsal dinner or reception.



Post # 4
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@NYBeee123:  I would first ask them and see what they want.  My parents are contributing financially and his aren’t, even in the slightest.  So, when picking out my invitations I asked my dad what he thought.  I was all prepared to get something along the lines of “Mr. and Mrs __ request the honor ….” or “Together with her parents…” but my dad shot it down saying it was all too stuffy.  Now my invitatios say “it is with great pleasure and joy that we invite you to celebrate the marriage of…”  There are ways to do it that don’t point in any direction.  

If they really want the adknowledgement on the invitaion, you could say (if you want to adknowledge all three) “Together with her mother, grandmother and aunt___…” or if you have a more caual vibe maybe  “Together with the women of the ___ family…” The last one would make me smile! If you think it’s all too long- I would stick with, “Together with her family…”

Remember you can always adnowledge them during the reception in a speech (you can ask your Maid/Matron of Honor to include this, or your DJ?)

Post # 5
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@NYBeee123: We have the exact same situation. My aunts, mother, grandparents are financially contributing. We made a general your presence would be appreciated at our wedding in the invites… but put Special Thanks in the programs where we thanked each person that contributed individually.

Post # 6
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Similar situation. Fiance and I are paying for most of our wedding. His family is helping us, financially and emotionally. My grandma is helping out a bit (making our favors, co-hosting a bridal shower). We just used, “along with their families.” I didn’t want his parents’ names only on there because that would be weird, but I didn’t want my mother’s name on there. I didn’t feel like I could do his parents’ names and my grandma’s name, either. 

Post # 7
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@NYBeee123:  An invitation is not a sponsorship brochure giving top billing to the biggest contributors. It is meant to define five simple clear facts: WHO is having the party, WHOM they are inviting, to WHAT, WHEN, and WHERE. (“Why” and “How” are left to the recipient’s speculation.) “WHO” is the hostess: the person who is taking personal direct responsibility for the safety, comfort and entertainment of the guests under her roof, and who will be personally disappointed if those guests fail to attend. The funding sources that the hostess is relying on are irrelevant, as well-reared people do not discuss cash nor disclose financial details, in polite society. In this case as in most modern weddings, that person is you. If you want to honour your parents, then name them as your guests of honour. If you want to be egalitarian, then invite your future inlaws as your guests of honour, too. After all, they may not have contributed any money, but they did contribute the most important thing without which no wedding could be taking place.

Post # 8
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@NYBeee123:  Acknowledge them at the rehearsal, the reception, or in the wedding programme.

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