(Closed) How to write a proper Thank you 4 who wasn’t invited to wedding but gave a gift?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wrote them the same way I wrote all my thank yous I just didn’t add, “thank you so much for coming.”

Post # 4
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I had that happen too – I thanked them for the gift and said thank you for thinking of us as we begin our lives together. But yeah, it’s a bit awkward 😛

Post # 5
47209 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s no different than when you write any other thank-you note for a gift.

Thank them for thinking of you, mention the gift specifically, say something about how you plan to use it.

Post # 6
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I just had the same thing happen!  I’m going to kind of mirror their language on the card, and tell them how touched we are they were thinking of us in this exciting time.  Still, kind of tough!

Post # 7
1692 posts
Bumble bee

The important thing to focus on here, is that wedding gifts, and wedding invitations, are not and should not be directly linked. You have heard dozens of times “no-one needs to give you a gift” — even if you send them a dozen invitations.  The flip side is, that people may still send you an appropriate gift — even if you do NOT send them an invitation. Even though you are the bride and it is your one special day, you are not in control of other people’s choices. That is as it should be, and the gracious thing to do is simply accept the reality.

Which leaves you still with the question of how to write a polite thank-you, and the answer is the etiquette aphorism “A simple thank-you will suffice.” If a child hands you a plucked dandelion and says “here, pwetty lady”, you reply “Thank-you”. If a friend sends you a place-setting of your every-day china, you write a note that basically says “Thank-you”. And if your new  husband’s childhood Sunday-school teacher that you’ve never met sends you the wedding-gift of your dreams, you reply “Thank-you”. Don’t gush; don’t try to repay the generosity. Don’t mention having the giver over for dinner in the thank-you note, because that smacks of trying to repay.

That being said, it is still a very nice thing to do, to extend hospitality to someone who has reached out to you in your newly married state, to welcome you into their hearts for the sake of your husband. DO indeed have them over for dinner. Just let the invitation to dinner come separately from the thank-you note.

Post # 9
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

For what it’s worth, we sent DH’s great aunt/uncle one that read something along the lines of

“Thank you for your generous gift, we look forward to using it for _____. Also, thank you so much for thinking of us.

Thank you again


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