(Closed) How to Write Out Married Couples…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Which Looks Better/Makes the Most Sense - Etiquette Rules Aside?
    Mr. & Mrs. John & Jane Smith : (40 votes)
    63 %
    Mr. John & Mrs. Jane Smith : (19 votes)
    30 %
    Mr. John & Jane Smith : (5 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3000 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I definitely wouldn’t do the third one since you have Mr. but no Mrs.

     

    I didn’t write mine like this at all… I just did Mr. & Mrs. John Smith. However, of the options you have, I picked #1.

    Post # 4
    Member
    13010 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t like any of them.  I like Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5668 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I like the second choice the best.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I wrote mine the second way (but instead of always putting “John” first, I alphabetized; so “Jane” would have come before “John”).

    Post # 8
    Member
    13010 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @HereWeGo:  Ah, that would have been helpful to know in the first place.  Why not just put John and Jane Smith then, and ditch the titles?

    Post # 9
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @Mrs. Fireworks & @abbie017:  Nothing personal…but if someone sent me an invite addressed like that, I would wonder what century they were from. Women are not property anymore. I am NOT my husband; I have my own first name, thankyouverymuch. (/End rant) Anyways, that’s probably what the OP’s friends think, too. And if she didn’t include it on the poll, I would assume that there’s a reason, since it’s not usually an addressing option that you forget, given its (rather dumbfounding given the day & age) popularity.

    Also, just because you don’t want to imply that the woman in the partnership has been eclipsed by the man doesn’t mean that you want to forgoe formality, which titles convey.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Personally, I would want it addressed to John and Jane Smith, that’s the only way that I can come up with that makes sense, but I know that makes it less formal without the titles which may not be what you want…

    Post # 12
    Member
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I didn’t do Mr. & Mrs. John Smith because all I can remember is my mother saying to me ‘I’m not Mrs. John Smith, my name isn’t John!’ hahaha.  I did Mr. & Mrs. John & Jane Smith or (probably wrong and so gauche) Mr. & Mrs. Smith.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    990 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    well it should read  Mr. and Mrs. John Smith but you can add her name in if you really want

    Post # 15
    Member
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I think the reason you are getting stuck with none of them looking right is because none of them are correct.  You are only supposed to use MRS. when it is connected with the man’s name. 

    @Jenniphyr – as much as you would like to “rant” about the use of the man’s name for both, some people don’t like the incorrect use of MRS kind of like the folks that get annoyed with grammatical errors.  LOL.  I totally see your point about the missing MR and MRS making the invite less formal but truthfully not using the titles correctly also makes the invite less formal. 

    OP – Is the invite itself formal?  I think if I received a “formal” invite but it was addressed with both our first names I would still assume it was a formal event because of the type of invite.  I think the feel of the invite dictates more of the formality than the name convention especially with the split in how women would like to be addressed because it is conflicting to get and informally addressed formal invite. 

    So, if you have a formal invite I would pick the just first name option no titles except the big ones like doctors, clergy, military, etc.  If the invite isn’t very formal so you are trying to get the point across with the titles I would say do it correctly but if you must pick one of the incorrect ones, the third one is completely out, the first one is a little awkward because of the two & signs so I would go with the second one.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @rbabyrolle:  Oh, trust me, I get annoyed with grammatical errors. I have several books on grammar, and had I not gone into healthcare I likely would have opted to become an editor. I just don’t think that the above options use “Mrs” incorrectly. You wouldn’t refer to someone who’s been married 50 years & always goes by “Mrs” as “Miss” or “Ms” when refering to them alone (ex. “Mrs. Smith, where did you get your shirt” — you wouldn’t say “Miss Smith”). It’s just not done.

    The topic ‘How to Write Out Married Couples…’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors