Post # 1
Newly engaged and new to wedding bee. I’m getting married this summer and we can’t decide on the date. We were thinking June 21, but the main conflict is that there wouldn’t be time for me to have a bachelorette party beforehand. Here’s why: I’ve always wanted to do a girls weekend at the beach for my bachelorette. There aren’t a lot of summer beach-weather weekends before June 21, and there are conflicts on a couple of those weekends. Also, one of my best friends is getting married in July and there aren’t enough weekends when we’re both available for us to both have bachelorette parties before our weddings. We could have the wedding later in the summer, but there are various reasons why early summer is better.
Really, I see the point of the bachelorette party as a way to spend quality time with my friends, not to go out and pretend to flirt with boys. So I don’t really see the deal with having it later, except that it would be anticlimactic. If it’s beforehand, it would be a good chance for my good friends from different parts of my life to get to know each other before the wedding. Maybe it would work if I think of it more as a girls trip to thank them for helping/being part of my wedding? Maybe I’d still have a simple bachelorette night out in my own city before the wedding? Advice?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX
Truthfully if I was invited to a bachelorette party after the wedding I would think its weird. I’d rather do something low key before the wedding.
Post # 4
I would think it was weird. Kind of defeats the purpose. Why not just plan a girls’ cruise or something?
Post # 5
Pretty sure that would defeat the purpose of having a bachlorette party.. since you wouldn’t be a bachlor[ette] anymore.
Post # 6
@colormegreen: I would rather do something low key before the wedding. Asking me to spend money for you after the wedding would be frusterating…Usually you don’t throw your own bachelorette, has no one offered? The point of the bachelorette party is to spend your last single night with a group of friends while also allowing the BMs to get to know each other.
Asking after is like requesting I pay to go on vacation with you and other ladies I may not be close with. I wouldn’t consider that a thank you party but more like a vacation and would probably decline.
Post # 7
@colormegreen: I think you should just forgo the bachelorette party, or maybe have a quick dinner prior to the wedding to enjoy the premarrital bliss with the ladies. Then, have a ladies weekend at the beach after the wedding to say thank you. I think that’s a really neat idea actually.
Post # 10
I’d suggest revising your bachelorette trip idea to something workable before the wedding. A visit to a spa, have a slumber party at one the MOH’s house, there are a lot of possibilities other than your weekend idea. It would be really odd to have a bachelorette party after the wedding and when you’re just married, I think your husband might want a little time with you.
Post # 11
you can do wahtever you want bc it is your wedding.
In my opinion, if you are dead set on a beach trip with your girl friends, just take a beach trip with your girlfriends. It doesn’t NEED to be the bachelorette party.
Post # 12
A married person throwing themself a bachelorette party? No. Absolutely not. Let your friends plan your party and go to the beach some other time.
Post # 13
I agree with PPs, forgo the bachelorette party and just have a girl’s trip after the wedding.
Post # 14
@colormegreen: Sorry I have to agree with everyone else it’d be weird. I wouldn’t go if it was called the bachelorette and as some others have mentioned etiquette is not to plan your own. I’d rather have a fun night with friends before ( a smaller deal) and then go to the beach after as a thank you or afterwards grab your then husband and all your friends and go together as a big thank you to everyone.
Kitchen teas are more common in my family than bachelorettes but essentially its a similar premise and if you replace bachelorette with kitchen tea you can see why it’d be weird maybe more easily…
Post # 15
Hi @colormegreen: I see this is your DEBUT Post on WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Personally, ya I’d find that weird… in the same way that I’d find having an Engagement Party or a Shower after the Wedding.
These are BEFORE Wedding Events… they need to stay that way. If you can’t work it into your Schedule, then they just don’t happen (sorry)
Also, no one organizes / throws a party in their own honour… that would be seen as rude.
Hope this helps,
PS… Never mind that IMO it is would be really weird / strange (if not insulting) to buzz off on your New Hubby so soon after getting married.
If a Bachelorette Party / Get-together is important to you… try fit it in somewhere else… even if it means going more low key. Not every Bachelorette Party has to be a Trip, or a blow out weekend… there are alternatives
Post # 16
@This Time Round: +1
A bachelorette party after the wedding would be like having a shower after the wedding.
Why not just call it a summer celebration, if you want to have a beach party with your friends?