- 7 years ago
So after a good number of months in the “I’m totally feeling comfortable with waiting, happy in my relationship, it will come someday” stage, I have now reverted back to the “this sucks, why aren’t we engaged yet, will it ever happen, fml” stage.
I just don’t feel that my SO will ever want to get married. I feel like I may have pushed him towards that. Sure, he went to the jewelry store with me to look at rings. But I know I nagged him into it. Sure, he said he wanted to go. But then why did I have to constantly bring it up? He has never brought up engagement/marriage on his own. It has always been me.
I think what has been getting to me even more have been the stories I’ve been reading about other women’s SOs. Example: On one of my vacation message boards there is a guy who started a thread asking for proposal ideas. The thread became 6 pages long and you can tell from every single one of his posts that he is just incredibly excited for this proposal and to one day marry his girl. I cannot possibly picture my SO being excited about the prospect of marriage. For the longest time he just was not ready, and I really don’t know where he stands on it now. I can’t see him thinking, “I cannot wait for this proposal. It will be amazing and I will get to marry this woman who I love so much.” I can’t even picture him wanting to tell his family and friends after it happens.
I’m probably just over-analyzing everything due to my depressing mood. But it’s about to get to the point where I don’t even want a proposal anytime soon because I don’t think it is what he wants.