(Closed) how would i know if a man out there is the one for me?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I just kind of knew. We didn’t have a lot in common as far as hobbies, but we felt eager to learn about each other and always had fun. We continue to have fun with each other and always learn something new about each other.

Post # 4
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I am a bit of an introvert (at times) and really, really enjoy alone time. Usually, I get sick of someone after spending more than a day or two with them (and only them). I start getting annoyed with that person and pick out little things I don’t like about them. I think I knew when I realized I could spend days upon days upon days with my SO and not get sick of him or annoyed at all.

Post # 5
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I just did. He’s everything I’m not, and that’s good.

Post # 6
1447 posts
Bumble bee

Sometimes you have a gut intuition about someone and just know.  For me, I had a gut feeling about my Fiance before I even met him.  My Fiance was best friends with my cousin in college, and even though we went to different schools that were hundreds of miles apart, I would hear about him all the time through my cousin and how similar we were.  It took us almost 10 years before we finally met face-to-face, but when we did, we both “knew” that we were meant to be together and have been together ever since.  

For some other people, it can be a little different.  Before my parents got married, my dad “knew” my mom was the one for him from the very first time he met her, but my mom didn’t have that feeling — she developed that later.  My best friend’s husband “knew” my friend was the one for him and pursued her for months before she gave him a chance.  But after their first date, she “knew” he was the one for her (she didn’t feel it beforehand).

But definitely take your time and get to know the guy you’re with.  A lot of times, people mistake chemistry, lust, and infatuation with love and that’s a huge mistake.  The “knowing” feeling I and the people I mentioned is not a “high” or anything too emotional.  It’s a very calm, peaceful, and stable “knowing” feeling that nothing can shake (almost like you know the sky is blue).  But it’s different for everyone, so I’d just trust your intuition and have fun meeting new people!

Post # 7
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I really just knew he was the one.  It was feeling I hadn’t had with anyone else I’d dated.

Post # 8
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

I used to think my ex was the one… because I wanted him to be. So by thinking, I was fighting my gut and trying to convince myself that this was it. 

When I met my SO I didn’t have a choice but to believe and KNOW he was my soul mate. There were so many signs that we were meant to be together. We were always saying the same thing, had weird things in common, all of the same values and hopes for the future. When we finally got together (we met when he was in a relationship, which he quickly ended) it was honestly the most incredible feeling of my life kissing him for the first time. 

They say, when you know, you know. And it’s so true, and it’s not just I think I know… it’s holy crap of course I know,  no question, no doubt. 

I feel kind of stupid when I think about my ex and how I thought I would marry that guy. I just know without a doubt that my SO is the one for me. A year later, we’ve never really been in an argument (we’ve had off days, sure), we peacefully live together, we love each other more than I thought you could ever love someone, and the chemistry is amazing Wink


Post # 9
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I know he is the one because he makes me happy.  That’s all that matters right?  This man that I am marrying is goofy, fun, sweet, thoughtful, and just so amazing in so many ways.  If I have a smile on my face you can bet that at least half of them are there because of him and if he is around he is the reason for probably all of them.  I love the saying “I love you not only for what you are but what I am when I am with you.”  I love him for who he is but I also love him because when I am with or even just thinking about him I am a happy person.  Yes we fight and we have our bad moments but once those few moments are over we are able to go back to ourselves and be truly happy again. 

Find someone who makes you smile and makes your life better in so many ways, if you can find that it in a man then you’ve found the man you will spend the rest of your life with.

Post # 12
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@sweetkari85:  First you have to have your house in order. Go to therapy, deal with your issues. Finding the right person will not take your problems and issues away. In fact, once the honeymoon is over, your issue often come back with a vengance. 

I “just knew” with 2 guys, that I eventually broke up with (and was heartbroken). So I did not trust “just knowing”. But within 3 weeks of meeting Darling Husband, I knew something was different. I was falling madly in love, but like @Shina:  mentions, it was a calm feeling (not that high, rollercoaster- WHEEE feeling). As the relationship progressed, it was just easy. Not that everything was alway roses. We fought and disagreed, but for the most part it was easy and we were just able to deal with the problems as they came up. It was effort, but not work. 

But we had both been hurt in the past (he was divorced), so we didnt really, really know that we were def moving towards marriage for over a year. So dont think that it always happens like a lightning bolt.

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