(Closed) How would it make you feel if….?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t know honestly, does he say why? Boy’s are stupid sometimes, only you know him. Has he ever given you reason not to trust him before? This is one of those things that just are not clear cut, I would go with my gut on this , is it that you think he was still looking around?

Post # 4
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It is almost as though at the time he wanted to broadcast to random women, “Hey ladies, last chance. I’m technically still on the market just in case you want me before I attach myself to someone else forever.” Yes, that is inappropriate and lame if you’ve been in an 8 year relationship, ring on the finger or not. He was probably working out the nervousness of commitment after he actually bought the ring, and well, he wasn’t very good at it. So the questions are: How does he feel now, and if he is feeling good about the commitment, are you secure enough to believe him?

Post # 5
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Wow, what a moron. Make sure you tell all the good looking fellows that you are DEFINITELY NOT ENGAGED AND/OR MARRIED whenever you get the chance. I agree with Cornflakegirl, it sounds like he was trying to let the ladies know he was still on the market and available. Even if that wasn’t his true intention, it’s still a retarded thing to say to anyone. It’s like he’s trying to distance himself from you and that probably really hurts your feelings. I guess I don’t have any advice other than let him know what you heard him say and let him know how it made you feel. You shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Post # 6
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

my guess is that he was working through the emotional aspect of committing to engagement and marriage and it just came out really dumb.

I’ve been talking a lot about changing my last name lately to people that don’t even bring that aspect of it up. I KNOW I want to marry him and be his wife AND change my last name, I’m just…coping with that loss. He was losing his independence to gain something else that is great and awesome (engagement and marriage) so it might have just been a hard thing for him

Post # 7
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

IMO-if he is telling you that you are crazy and overreacting, there is a good chance that there is more to his story than you know. That is generally not a response that comes from someone who is truly sorry and realizes they are doing someting wrong.

 

Post # 9
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I can definitely understand your hurt =/ *hugs* If he agrees it was stupid, then why the heck didn’t he have the sense to not say it to begin with? I’m an insecure person, so if this was me, I would be asking him if he’s got some sort of interest in a co-worker because wtf? lol It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s doing anything sinister, it’s just stupid is all. How did you find out about it? Did he tell you? Or did you hear it through one of his co-workers? Anyways, I just hope he’s not taking you for granted!!

Post # 10
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Glad you and your SO talked it out because it was highly inappropriate to do. But, again, glad you guys talked it over. Hopefully he won’t try to pull a stunt like that again.

Post # 11
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m curious… but how did you find out about this?

Post # 13
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m glad things haev worked out and I really hope you don’t hold it against him. At the time it sounds like he wasn’t ready to be engaged but now he is and that’s what’s important. Now that he knows that this hurt you he will hopefully be more thoughtful in the future. So move on and don’t give it a second thought!

Post # 14
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If it came from a reliable source I would definitely be annoyed and pissed.  Who told you this?

Post # 15
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Some men look up ex girlfriends after they decide to get engaged to see what they are doing, some say they are not to see the reaction for other women, and some even go out on a date!  It’s like some men have this last need or cry of WHAT IF they have to test before the big decision is made.

 My Fiance took a female friend out to lunch and lied to me about it after he got my ring and we had been together 6 years. (He still pays for that little stunt)  Almost like some men test to see if it is right, how they feel around other women if opportunity was there, how much do I really care, does it bother me if my ex’s are married or in a relationship, do I feel right about others knowing I am taken, am I ready enough to make that commitment and never be with another woman?  It’s weird and even some women do it.  Heck I was interesting in what all my ex’s were doing and don’t know why, I didn’t contact any just looked to see if they were married, kids, or still battling the old single life. LOL Even I don’t know exactly why I did it really. 

 

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