(Closed) How would this make you feel?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

This is a tough situation … I’m sorry!  You are doing the right thing and trying to accommodate your Mom, and she is not attempting to compromise.  I know she is going through a lot, but still ….

 I think you should stick to your original plan of September.  Tell her you are happy she wants to be a part of the wedding and you would love for her to attend, but that the wedding has to occur in September because there is absolutely no way you can plan everything by August.  This is something any relatively reasonable person will be able to understand.  It is not being rude, it just being practical.  Plus, with all of the what-ifs hanging in the air, setting one thing in stone and not looking back, such as the date, will ease your mind.

 Considering a local wedding for your Mom is nice, especially if you were not particularly attached to another location just yet.  Can you tell her you need a definite answer about September because, if she is able to come, you will hold the wedding locally for her?  I think doing this will force her to commit either way and help you get on with planning.  If she won’t commit by your deadline or says she can’t do September because she would rather visit in August, then you have really done all you can do.    

 I obviously dont know your Mom personally, so this is just what I would do.  Who knows if it is right or not!  But good luck! 

Post # 5
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You’re welcome!  Attempting to make it accessible for both sides is the right thing to do, IMO.  But remember you can only do so much and you have to speak up.  If you explicitly tell your Mom what you are going to do to accommodate her, she either has to go along with it or not.  Either way, it will make planning much easier for you. 

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