Post # 16
Most online wish lists or registries have a way to mark that an item has been bought elsewhere – I do this with amazon lists all the time when I can find a better deal but don’t want a duplicate bought. Meh – she was trying to be nice. If you DO get a duplicate, I’m sure BBB would let you exchange for something else. I had friend whose families didn’t even look at a registry, only friends did, and so they got 5 crockpots. 5.
Post # 17
To be clear, the issue was not that I’m a child waiting for Santa and preferring to be surprised. It wasn’t that I wanted her to stick to the registry. It wasn’t about registry policies. It wasn’t about the gift. And obviously I’m grateful.
The issue was about how to address an awkward confrontation- wanted to hear whether you would go the route of “You don’t need to get me a gift”, or say “can you tell me the gift so I can take it off the registry.” And I also just wanted to hear whether other people could relate to my situation.
After hearing your ideas (loved your suggestions!), I agree that since she was direct and wanted to know, next time it makes sense not to beat around the bush, and to just go ahead and ask her what the gift is and tell her I’ll take it off the registry. Saying “thank you” is implied.
Post # 18
I wouldn’t have asked even if you did get two you can return one. Bbb usually won’t remove items from the registry unless you ate the bride or groom.
Post # 19
It is more awkward to me that you’re evading her question which could potentially be frustrating on her end.
Post # 20
I agree with the other PPs – you seem to be handling it the right way.
Coincidentally, I just had a friend text me and ask where we’re registered. I told them the two places, but I said “Presence is present enough”.