- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
In December 2010, a couple months after I got engaged, a former friend went berserk. She accused me of not being supportive of her and not wanting to spend time with her. I had supported her but it wasn’t ever enough for her. When I tried to explain that I had many loved ones in trouble and was trying to be there for each of them and save them from “drowning” (her word, I was trying to go with her metaphor…) she mocked me, saying I must think I’m Jesus (wait, what?!) and that I must be such a saint, etc. I had planned several times to visit with her only for her to cancel. She would text me at the last minute for lunch but I could not drop everything and needed a little advance notice which I asked of her, but she ignored, then she got mad at me about it all. She wrote that my life is so perfect and how much she is suffering by comparison. My life is far from perfect and we all have our problems, it’s all relative. She compared our work, our SO’s, and our families.
The final straw was when she wrote my fiancé, all innocent, and wanting information from him, as though he’d take her side. This was after, of course, she had written in CAPS for me not to ever contact her again. Okay, I won’t contact you but it’s okay for you to contact my man? Eff that.
Among other hurtful and jealousy-laden remarks swirling about my engagement, ring and life, she wrote, “So tell me, how many other friends are you gonna dump now that you have that ring on your finger?” Well, I wasn’t planning on dumping any friends at all, but now that she mentioned it…
I thought it was best to just step further and further away from her as clearly, she was not wanting to salvage this friendship, only lash out at me at every turn. I apologized for anything that made her upset and tried to take away the emotion of it all and just face the facts. But, she wanted a fight, not a resolution and I didn’t care to waste energy on a fight.
I’ve blocked her from more personal sections of my Facebook page but remain barely connected via Facebook only so I could keep an eye on her – she was hostile and was posting things targeted at me. Things had cooled down for the most part.
We hadn’t contacted each other since January. 7 months. Then, around 11:30 p.m. last night, outta nowhere, I get a text from her:
“I just want 2 get my facts straight: is it true that u have invited my friend [John Doe] 2 yor wedding & not me?”
First of all, does she seriously think we’re inviting her to the wedding? Secondly, John Doe isn’t invited, we hardly know the dude, and I feel this is just a ploy to get me to write to her because the next question from her has gotta be, “So, am I invited?” I sense a huge can-o-worms a’comin’.
I can’t help but feel damned if I do, damned if I don’t. If I write her back it perpetuates a response. If I don’t, she’ll keep fuming and I feel I’ll have to hire security to keep her out of the wedding should she find out about where/when, etc. Blech.
So, dear Bees, help me see through this — what would you do at this point? Thanks!