(Closed) How would you feel?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
5170 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

It depends, what are the things you’re expecting her to pay for?

If my Maid/Matron of Honor said that I would take it as her being light hearted, but that might not be the case for yours. 

Post # 3
Member
847 posts
Busy bee

It would depend on her usual personality. If she is normally kind of bitchy, I would take it seriously. If she is funny and likes to joke around I would take it as a joke.

Post # 4
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

Need more information about her and what she needs to pay for to say whether it’s sensitive or not. I would just joke back “Didn’t plan on it. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Post # 5
Member
1033 posts
Bumble bee

That depends, is she paying for her dress, hair, makeup, your bachelorette party and shower? Those are very expensive so she’s probably just being honest  

If you’re letting her DIY her own hair and makeup, wear a dress she already owns, and have other people paying for your bachelorette and bridal parties then she’s making a big deal out of nothing and being a bitch. 

Post # 6
Member
644 posts
Busy bee

To me, this would be my best friend’s way of saying, “I love you so much that I will do anything for you, but this wedding business is breaking the bank.”  This all depends on your friend, of course, but if she’s not normally one to complain, this might be her way of expressing frustration with her financial situation.  Are you assisting your bridesmaids in any way with their dresses or accomodations? 

Post # 7
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I would feel bad that she felt the need to send it and ask her if she needs help and take stock of what I am asking her to pay for. 

Post # 9
Member
847 posts
Busy bee

With your update, I would agree that her comment was rude and unnecessary.

Post # 10
Member
6556 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t see anything wrong with her commenting on the cost of those things. A dress, flight and a couple of nights in a hotel are $1000 or close to it. 

Post # 11
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I would let it go. If she’s the type to joke around I wouldn’t be too hurt by it. IMO It wasn’t exactly a hurtful comment (flights & hotels are expensive for a wedding, I wouldn’t personally do that for just anybody) but it was unnecessary, yes.

Post # 12
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
alittlefox :  This is rude of her. I was in several weddings one year and it was extremely costly, but that was partially my choice to attend all showers, bachelorettes, gifts, paid for my own makeup etc. Flights, dresses, accomodations are the basic costs and it doesn’t sound like you are pushing anything too pricey. yes it costs a lot to be in a wedding but she’s being rude about it

Post # 13
Member
2165 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

No, it is just a half-joke, half-serious remark at a particularly stressful moment in her end of wedding planning. 

I was an Maid/Matron of Honor once, and I remember telling my mother “I can’t wait til they go on their honeymoon and I don’t have to look at them for 2 weeks.” 

Rude, maybe. How I felt at the moment, yes.

Post # 14
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think she is trying to make a point to tell you that she is feeling a bit put out, but is doing so in a joking manner. 

I don’t mean that you are doing anything wrong in the slightest, if she agreed to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, she knew what she was getting into and could easily have said “No, I’m sorry but I cannot afford that” but she didn’t. 

I think she is just making a passive agressive comment. I would take it with a grain of salt. It’s not worth drama when you have so much going on with the wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
alittlefox :  I’d say, ‘thanks for the vote of confidence’ or ‘whats the deal here? didnt you sign yourself up to be MOH?’ but I’m probably too direct and can’t stand passive agressive BS

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