(Closed) How would you feel?

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

I’d feel bad for his fiance and be glad the guy is gone from my life.

Post # 17
Member
504 posts
Busy bee

I’d continue to feeling nothing… he’s her problem now!

This is why I don’t use Facebook anymore. Done with people’s nonsense.

Post # 18
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

That was really hard to follow.  I wouldn’t care at all.  I wouldn’t feel bad for the wife because she might already know and not care herself.  I wouldn’t be annoyed that someone sent me the question because they were probably just curious.  Nine years is a very long time. 

Post # 19
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

ecrisrien :  “You could be dissociating a little, which is normal when something brings up a less than pleasant memory. I’d give yourself permission to feel numb, but be aware that doing so sometimes triggers a release of the emotions underneath. If that happens, just remember that it is a good thing, it means the issue is resolving. Be kind to yourself—whatever you’re feeling is okay.

Part of the confusion you’re feeling might come from an inability to know what to feel in this situation, anger at your ex for recycling the ring, anger at the third party who decided to pass this along (not a caring move, imho), grief at this reminder of how the relationship ended, or apathy because of how separate from your ex you have become. Give it time, and don’t try to force yourself to justify your feelings or reject them if they don’t fit into a certain mold. They will untangle in time .”

 

This is so good.

Post # 20
Member
6437 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I would have immediately assumed that the person asked not to make ME feel bad, but because they wanted to confirm and somehow embarrass the current wife. Still pot stirring, but with a different target. But it shouldn’t mean anything to you, so take a deep breath, remind yourself how lucky you are that he isn’t your problem, and move on. This doesn’t deserve the mental energy you’re giving it. 

Post # 21
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I would feel bad that this woman got my leftovers (probably without her knowledge) and be glad to be rid of a man who would propose marriage to a woman with another woman’s promise ring, no less.

Post # 22
Member
4792 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

If this was from 9 years ago then it could very well be a different ring. Perhaps he likes a particular style and decided to buy a similar ring. You yourself say that your memory is foggy. I’d just ignore the message completely or ask the person, ”why do you ask?”

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