Post # 1
So all of this wedding planning stuff has really made me question some peoples actions or lack there of. My fi and I will be getting married in a few months and I feel like we’ve gotten no emotional or monetary support from anyone in his family. His mother passed away when he was younger but he does have five sisters. Now I know that everyone has their own life and I don’t expect the world to stop cuz we are getting married but they never even ask how the wedding planning is coming along if we need any help or anything! In my opinion they shud realize that since he doesn’t have his mom or me a fmil maybe they shud try and take over that role and show some emotional support. Am I wrong? Am I asking too much? They r all older then me and I will be their fsil so shouldn’t they make me feel welcomed or important?? I do have my mom and my own sisters but it wud be nice to feel included in his family since his family is so large. And it would be nice for my fi to see his sisters taking an active role and caring about his special day. My fi and I are paying for the majority of the wedding and my parents are also helping us but his father has not offered any help. I take this as an insult since this is his only son getting married. I understand not everyone is in the financial situation but not to offer any help?? How would you feel about these situations??
Post # 3
@nygirl222: You have to realize that every family dynamic is different, and if you think about how things “SHOULD” go all the time, you are going to be disappointed. Instead, focus on what they do well, and in what other ways they are nice to you, and accept them for who they are, because you can not change the family you get. The only thing you can choose is how you respond to them when they do make whatever effort they expend. Unfortunately, you can not force someone to give what they are incapable of providing, be it financial, or emotional.
Post # 4
Only you (and your fiance) should be paying for your wedding- and you shouldn’t get upset that no one is offering any cash. Emotional support- that is either a hit or miss- I would lean on your family more for that one.
Post # 5
@armychica06: Agree with this.
Also have you stopped to consider that this might be hard on them as well- their brother is getting married and their mother is dead- I am sure it is bringing up all kinds of feelings for them as well- maybe they aren’t getting involved because they don’t want you to see how upset they are (about their mum not being there for this) and put a downer on your experience. A little bit of compassion and consideration goes a long way.
As PP said lean on your family more.
Post # 6
Jules I think you are right…wen u expect things it just sets you up for disappointment. I just thought I wud have a closer relationship to the ppl who will be my in laws..thanks for the advice
Post # 7
It is not that they are incapable of showing emotional support bc within the family there is plenty of support for each other..its just wen it comes to me and my fi it seems to be lacking and he and I can’t help but take offense