Post # 1
… if your best friend of 15 years (in our case, half our lives) asks a girl she’s known for 3 years to be her maid of honor only because my friend was her maid of honor in her wedding 2 years ago… and for NO OTHER reason? I thought it was a done deal for YEARS that we were gonna be eachother maid of honor and to be honest, i’m pretty offended. We’ve been planning this for a long time. How would you feel in this situation and how would you deal with it? I’m really not sure how to react, if I should deal with it and keep my mouth shut, if I should say something… I dunno. I’m upset.
Post # 3
I would be very upset, but I’m not sure if I would say anything…This is one if those situations where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
If it’s only recently happened, I would wait maybe a week and see if she says anything to you. Give yourself a chance to cool off/not be so upset if you do decide to talk to her about it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
Honestly, I’m closer to some of my “newer” friends than the ones I’ve had since high school. I’m sorry she hurt your feelings, but at least you’re a bridesmaid still..
Post # 5
I would be totally upset. I think you have every right to be. Whether or not you talk to her about it… well, I don’t know. That depends on what kind of friend she is and if she’d be able to handle that sort of conversation.
Post # 6
I would absolutely be upset. I’ve been in those situations where I can’t believe one person is picked over me.
Honestly, I would let it be. I know, easier said than done. You are still friends, you are still participating in the wedding, you still get to make important decisions. You are however saving a ton of money and frustration. Sure some stuff is fun such as dress shopping, but think of the time you won’t spend bagging mints, stuffing envelopes and hauling gifts back to the house.
Post # 7
How do you know that’s the *only* reason? It could be that they are just closer than you and her.
Post # 8
My best friend of 15 years (also, half our lives) is not my Maid of Honor although she is a bridesmaid. My Maid/Matron of Honor is another best friend who I have been close with for approximately 6 years. Years of friendship doesn’t dictate who your Maid/Matron of Honor is going to be. Maybe they have became closer & you aren’t aware of that. Maybe they share more common interests now?
I wouldn’t be upset, but obviously you are. Have you talked to her about it? I don’t really think it’s appropriate to question who she picks to be in her bridal party though. In the end it was her decision, no matter her reasoning.
Post # 9
@missmorganista: Agreed! My best friend from HS is a bridesmaid but my Maid/Matron of Honor is someone I’ve met since I graduated college. I love them all but I’m closer to people post-high school & college.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t care about my position in the wedding if my friend thought of me enough just to ask me to participate in her wedding and to stand by her.
Shoot, my sister isn’t even IN my wedding. In any capacity, except as a guest.
Post # 11
It’s okay to be upset but I don’t think you should say anything. They must be quite close to each other if they both chose each other as maid of honour. I know it sucks to feel like the 2nd place best friend but people change and new people come and go through everyone’s lives. Lots of people have more than one best friend so I’m sure the decision was hard for her, don’t make her feel bad about it. Just be a good friend and act excited to help her with the wedding in any way she needs. You are her friend so you should do that whether you’re Maid/Matron of Honor, a Bridesmaid or Best Man, or even just a guest. She will appreciate your good attitude.