How would you feel?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’d drop out from being a Maid/Matron of Honor if my fiancé wasn’t invited. That’s unacceptable 

Post # 17
Member
409 posts
Helper bee

leyash91 :  I think it’s very weird not inviting both. Excluding just one family member, when everyone else is invited AND you’re a maid of honor, is just ridiculous. When I was inviting, my MOH’s whole family was a must. Not inviting fiancé is even weirder. But I also remember what a nightmare it was trying to pull a wedding on a crazy low budget, so I guess if she’s having money troubles, try to be patient and understanding. 

Post # 18
Member
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Not inviting your Fiance was incredibly rude. Especially as you are in the wedding party! She wants you to celebrate her union, while ignoring yours.

Your sister, eh, spouses/partners aside, everyone in a family/household does not get an automatic invite. 

Post # 19
Member
1973 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

You have every right to be annoyed, I would talk to the bride and ask her what’s going on, but I find it very rude that your sister and your fiancee weren’t invited just talk to her, maybe she just assumed that they will come.

Post # 20
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think spouses, FIs, and live-in partners are considered units–ie, you HAVE to invite them. So that’s rude. 

The sister is not a breach of etiquette–maybe odd from your perpsective since you see your family as a distinct unit; your friend might be weighing how well she knows each person within your family and came up with a different result. Since your sister is an individual and not “wed” to your family, this is appropriate. 

If you’re Maid/Matron of Honor, which implies you know the bride pretty well, I’d sit her down and talk to her about the Fiance. It seems completely backwards for her not to invite him. As to what you should do if she insists on leaving him out, well, that’s more of an issue for you to weigh in regards to your friendship overall. 

Post # 21
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

She’s being EXTREMELY rude in not inviting your Fiance. That’s unacceptable in my opinion. 

Post # 22
Member
3863 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

leyash91 :  I can absolutely understand not inviting your sister. However, not inviting your Fiance is unacceptable. You are a social unit. It’s laughable that she expects you to stand up and support her relationship when she can’t even acknowledge yours enough to include him. Not inviting him for the arbitrary reason of keeping the guest list at 120 is also a cop out.

To be honest, I would drop out of this wedding and immediately reevalutate my friendship with this girl. If you are close enough to talk to her, I would explain that your Fiance and you are a team and either you are both invited or neither of you are invited. 

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