(Closed) How would you feel about this?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
5136 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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SammiCoJo:  i  would be annoyed but I also wouldnt have invited her. Bc now it just seems like she got an invite out of sympathy. 

Weddings are intimate affrairs, so I jnderstand your reason for not inviting her. She was wrong for putting your mom on the spot, who does that?! 

Post # 3
Member
1517 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Why invite her at all? You said yourself “then they don’t need to come with the sister or not”.

they aren’t THAT good of friends if they’re throwing the gauntlet over the older sister being invited.

Post # 5
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

We are having a pretty small wedding (65 to 70) and I’ve already had several people invite themselves even after I stressed how small it’s going to be. I’ve just added them to the guest list because I’d rather deal with it then have all kinds of hurt feelings. The difference is that they were MY friends or acquaintances and not their relatives. I don’t see any reason you need to invite her.

Also yes, I cannot get over how many people think they should be invited and blatantly ask about it.

ETA: Honestly I personally would just invite her to avoid the drama.

Post # 6
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee

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SammiCoJo:  This may seem besides the point, but if you don’t know the Sister, why are you Facebook friends with her? 

I would have stuck by my guns. If someone wants to not come to the wedding because of pettiness, then that’s on them. The parents were out of line. I could see them being upset if you had some kind of relationship with the Sister, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. Then again, you have her on your FB and are sharing the same wedding stuff with her you share with everyone else. Does that mean inclusion is implied? I don’t know, but questions like that are why I don’t have one.

Post # 7
Member
5136 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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SammiCoJo:  your mom is wrong- you dont invite people to a WEDDING just for the sake of inviting people. You also dont invite people bc you want to show to the inlaws that you knownpeople too. Weddings are not tit for tat. I feel like your mom is trying to “Keep up with the Jonses” -like shebhas to invite people to prove something to your Future Mother-In-Law

Post # 10
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee

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SammiCoJo:  My point was maybe the fact you have her on FB gave the impression you are closer than you are? I don’t know, I’m not active on there. I’ve seen a lot of posts about FB complicating guest lists though.

Post # 11
Member
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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SammiCoJo:  If you dont want to invite her, don’t invite her.

I literally had the same exact situation- we invited all members from one 4 person family aside from the adult son who we do not hang out with or spend time with, at all. 

The parents are long time friends of the family and their adult daughter is married to one of of my DHs coworkers so she obvi got an invite.  If they had asked me why we did not invite the other son I would have said we are keeping it to close friends and family. Which is true! Why would we invite someone we do not have a relationship with?

IDK I say just stand your ground, I would feel more annoyed that they are asking/bring offended about it instead of just respecting your decision

If you want to compromise I would put them on a B list. lol

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by Boxerlover24.
  • This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by Boxerlover24.
Post # 12
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yeah her sister and mom were wrong and petty. I sure that your day is all about them, right? Just avoid them. 

Post # 13
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

You were so right to not invite her! Heck, I am not inveting my sort of close friend of 10 years because we just dont see eachother anymore, or any of my extened family (not intresed = no contact) while we are inviting his whole side (50people) What a shitty move that family did. I would have crossed off the parents and told the friend about the situation.

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