Post # 92
I’ve actually encouraged my fiance to have strippers or go to a strip club for his. I’ve kinda always felt like that’s part of the bachelor party experience! I trust him 100% and it doesn’t bother me at all. But he really doesn’t want to and is not into it whatsoever.
Post # 94
Haha good to know its not just us then! Me and SO find a lot of people where we get along great with one person in the couple, but not the other. A lot of people have opposite/mismatched personalities around us. One is super neurotic the other totally laid back. One is a wild free spirit the other a conservative traditionalist. That or they’re married with kids and don’t have time to get out really so its hard to get together. Its not easy finding a couples friend!
Post # 95
100% absolutely not. I trust him completely and know he would never do anything, but I just don’t like it. Fortunately I know that his ideal bachelor party includes video games, board games, alcohol, and weed. He doesn’t like strippers and would say no if a friend tried to convince him. But none of his friends are into it either besides one crazy guy, so I’m not worried! If for some reason a stripper came when that wasn’t in the plans he knew about/told me about, I would be PISSED.
If he goes to a strip club for someone else’s bachelor party I can see him getting really drunk and texting me the whole time about how he misses me and loves me.
I’m really glad that I’m not going to have to deal with this for his bachelor party!
Post # 96
If an engaged guy asked a random girl off the street to get naked and dance for him would that not be cheating? It’s not much different. And my fiance does not have a history of cheating and I still don’t want him near strippers..so there.
But if you’re cool with it then that’s cool, every relationship is different and everyone has different boundaries.
Post # 97
Well, reading everyone’s responses just re-affirmed for me that I need to put my foot down about it because it’s something that really would bother me. So we talked about it last night and he doesn’t actually care about having strippers, it’s just that if his friends wanted to take him he doesn’t want to be that guy who says he can’t go because his fiance won’t let him. But he said that obviously my feelings are more important than him trying to be macho in front of his friends. So we both agreed no strippers for either of us.
I feel much better now!
Post # 98
I think my fiance should be able to do whatever he wants at his bachelor party without me telling him what he is/is not allowed to do. that’s crazy. I wouldn’t want him dictating the activities for my bachelorette party. He’s not going to fuck a stripper so who cares?
Post # 99
I’m so thankful that I don’t have to deal with this mess. I’m unsure how I would feel though. On one hand, I am secure and I don’t think I would mind. But on the other hand, I feel like… what’s the point? It’s so sketchy to me.
Post # 100
I don’t care. It’s not like he’s going to fall in love or even have sex with a stripper.
On the other hand, this may be easy for me to say because my guy is uninterested in strippers and sex workers. Maybe if he foamed at the mouth at first glance, I’d be more concerned.
Post # 101
Nope! Call me a prude, but it would never happen.
Post # 102
@sarahfw: We have a rule, he can see strippers if I’m right there with him. If it’s a bachelor party I wouldn’t be there, so hell no. I know what goes on at strip clubs, from what I’ve seen when I was right there, sorry, but there’s no way in hell he’s going there without me. Maybe some girls don’t know, but only the man can’t touch the woman during a lap dance, but she touches him A LOT.
I don’t care if it seems controlling or whatever, but I’m just not a-ok with some girls nipples all over my man’s face. I’d love to say “I can trust him, he wouldn’t allow that!” Sure, ok, his friends would be there telling him every step of the way “Do it, do it, do it, she’ll never find out!”, just add alcohol and BAM. Somehow I’d find out and it would kill me. Nope, nope, nope.
Post # 103
+1. I just do not get it. FWIW, Fiance has no interest in going and will not be going for his bach party. But both of his best men are also engaged and I do imagine that they will go for theirs. I feel that if he would not be okay with me doing to another man whatever a stripper is doing to him, then it is not okay. And I knoowwwww he would not be okay with me doing to another man what most strippers are required to do as part of their jobs.
Also: I have no problems with strippers or strip clubs. Not everyone holds my viewpoints. But they just don’t fit in our relationship with the expectations we have for each other.
Post # 104
ah Yes… I’ve struggled with this too – I know he will not go to one for his (unless his brother ignores my requests and takes him without either of us knowing before hand) – however when he goes to bachelor parties for his friends/brother, I can’t tell him he can’t go. I mean, I’m not going to make him miss out on his friend’s bachelor parties. But I HATE it. And I am adamant about no lap dances if he HAS to go. His brother love the rippers, and he loves that his wife is cool with it. He’s bragged about how she doesn’t care and will pick him up from them etc. That’s great and to each their own – If it works for another couple, all the power to’em. But Future Brother-In-Law even paid for himself to go in the champagne room at his own bachelor party – SO GROSS!!! I would lose it, seriously LOSE IT if Fiance went in the back room. THat IS cheating, no doubt. But I worry bc if he was doing that at his own bachelor party, I worry what he’ll do for his little brother (He’s been calling me about plans etc since we got engaged and that was 2 years ago!). he’s so into it and wants to spoil his little brother which is SOOOO nice, and I love Future Brother-In-Law a little more for loving his brother so much, but no strippers!!!!
Post # 105
I could care less, he can look all he wants as long as he doesn’t do anything stupid 🙂
He wouldn’t care if I have them either, but personally I don’t want them. Just not my thing. Not really his either though, so I think his party is going to be more mellow like his personality.
Post # 106
I honestly wouldn’t care.
However, my FIs bachelor party consists of going to the beach with his two brothers so they can play indoor tennis all weekend. Maybe I would feel differently if a strip club were actually a consideration.