(Closed) How would you feel if another family member got pregnant right now?

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
1984 posts
Buzzing bee

My sister is currently pregnant with her second. I was bivouacs extremely happy for her, but I was also sad because she had planned on waiting until my Darling Husband and I were ready to have kids so they would be around the same age. Well, God obviously has different plans for her. And that’s what I need to rind myself. Each relationship and couple is different.

Post # 4
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

TogetherThroughLife:  Why do you think you won’t get the “spotlight” if both of you are pregnant? Does your family tend to favor certain people? (I ask because one side of my family does). I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with my first and my SIL (my brother’s wife) is 14 weeks pregnant with her third. When she told us she was pregnant I was truly happy for her and my brother and excited that we get to be pregnant together. Their story is a little different as they already have 2 kids (19 and 13) but have been trying for years (like 7-8 years) to have another. Everyone is equally excited for both of us and I have not felt at all like she has stolen my spotlight. If you do end up pregnant together there is no one else better to talk/complain to about pregnancy stuff because she will be right there going through it too.

ETA: My sister just had a baby in November so all three of the younger kids are going to be so close in age that it is really exciting because we didn’t have that growing up. Our cousins are close to 10 years older than us.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  BulldogBride.
Post # 5
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

We had all sorts of stuff going in with DH’s family this year and last. First we got engaged, three months later Brother-In-Law got engaged, we set our wedding date May 2014, Brother-In-Law sets his wedding date Aug 2014, then before our wedding SIL announces she’s pregnant with her second child due Oct 2014! Our best man and his wife also announced they’re expecting their first child too.

We were happy for everyone! Everyone was considerate enough with dates (nothing the same month etc..) and we don’t expect everyone to plan everything around our wedding or vise versa. SIL actually told us they stop trying for a few months so she wouldn’t be due the same months as either wedding. I though that alone was really sweet of her because she didn’t have to do it but it means a lot to her to be at both weddings for her brothers.

Especially with TTC, couples never know how that’s going to go…maybe it will be easy, maybe it will take them a long time if there turns out to be issues. Everyone needs to do what’s right for them. Of course feeling a little pang of jealousy over wanting it to be your turn to be in the pregnant spotlight alone is okay, but I wouldn’t tell anyone else about it or make a big deal over it.

Post # 6
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I come from a big Southern family, and let me tell ya, I’m way behind on the baby-making bandwagon compared to my cousins. I’m the youngest girl in my group of cousins, and their kids range from infant to middle school now. It’s just me and one other cousin who are still childless, and we’re in no rush.

With my family, it doesn’t matter if it’s a cousin’s first or third child. Everyone is ALWAYS excited, and the mom-to-be ALWAYS has a spotlight. That’s how it’s been for my three cousins, so I would think you’ll definitely have your spotlight when you get your BFP.

Here’s the way I think about my cousins. By the time SO puts a ring on it, everyone else in my family will have gotten the excitement of new weddings and babies out of their systems, so we’ll definitely get our spotlight, haha! But if your pregnancy overlaps with SIL, I would think it would double the excitment and double the spotlight, not take anything away from either of you.

Don’t overthink it too much, OP, and first just wait and see if she really is pregnant before stressing about it 🙂

Post # 9
4412 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Honestly, jealousy would be the furthest thing from my mind. My older sister is a single mom so I would worry about the financial strain and how she would handle having two children (she’s not seeing anyone right now). My little sister is younger, but not young, but kids are the furthest thing from her mind, so I would also worry about how she would handle everything. If it did happen, I would still be very excited for them (I love babies!). I can be honest and say if it was one of my friends, that would make me a bit jealous right now as Darling Husband and I are in the process of deciding if we’re going to start trying next month (a year sooner than originally planned) or wait until late next summer. But I would once again still be excited and so happy for them!

Post # 10
1507 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

TogetherThroughLife:  My sister, my SIL (brothers wife), and my SIL (other brothers wife) were all pregnant at the same time, all three due within the same week!

My brothers 3yo son accidentally spilled the beans the day before christmas,and my sister was like “BUT I’M PREGNANT AND THAT WAS GOING TO BE MY CHRISTMAS NEWS!” and my other brother was like “*wifey* is pregnant as well and we were going to announce it at Christmas dinner!” hahahha

So they were all kinda ticked that the other two stole their spotlight, but it ended up being totally awesome.

Post # 12
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I feel like the spotlight can be shared… babies are SO exciting, it seems like everyone would just be doubly excited.  My SIL and Brother-In-Law have been trying for awhile with no luck.  We are planning to start TTC in October, so there is a good chance that we will be pregnant at the same time (FX that we are both able to get pregnant at some point in the not-so-distant future).  I would be beyond thrilled if SIL announced that she was pregnant… actually they were visiting lately and I was really hoping that she was.

If/when we are pregnant at the same time, my Mother-In-Law is going to lose her mind with excitement! 

Post # 13
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I hope to have either (or both!) of my SILs announce a pregnancy around the same time as us – I would LOOOOVE it if our kids had cousins close in age!  Right now, it doesn’t look like that will happen.  I have one brother/SIL who have tried for years with no luck, and another who have been trying to decide whether to try for a 3rd and final baby (after a MC last summer that was very hard on them).  We’re trying now, and I would be elated to be pregnant along-side my SILs – I look at it as someone to share the experience, and cousins for my kids.  Honestly, I couldn’t care less about the spotlight (with my personality, I actually hate being the center of attention) – I know my family will be really excited about our babies either way.

Post # 14
1564 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I had a close friend announce her pregnancy and I was a little sad just because we knew we were both going to start TTC in May and she got pregnant in April. Only because I hoped we were going to be pregnant at the same time! 

Post # 15
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My husband and I are not having children, so I would feel super excited if my SIL got pregnant! Although, I am a little sad that all of my ‘spotlight’ moments are over now! :S

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