(Closed) How would you feel if he proposed with a promise ring?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How would you feel if he proposed with a promise ring?

    I'd just be happy he proposed!

    I'd be a little disappointed

    I'd be upset/angry

  • Post # 2
    766 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    If you care more about the ring he uses to propose to than the meaning of the ring and the engagement itself than you’re too immature to be married.

    You should watch this installment of Adam Ruins Everything and rethink things:

    Post # 3
    7268 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    If this is all he can afford for now, I wouldn’t be bothered by it. Maybe stop thinking of it as a “promise ring” and think of it as your engagement ring, which you can upgrade later on when finances allow? After all, there are no hard and fast rules for what an engagement ring has to look like. If he’s proposing marriage to you with this ring, then it’s an engagement ring.

    If this isn’t a financial issue, then I can see your point and would speak up now. Many couples go ring shopping together before the engagement – do you think he’d be open to something like that? If not, maybe you could pick out a few rings that you like and send him pictures so he has some idea of what to go with? 

    Post # 4
    2864 posts
    Sugar bee

    I dont think it matters if he plans to pick out the ring together with you after the proposal…that changes the whole story for me. Nothing wrong with that and he probably wants to make sure you actually like the ring.

    Post # 5
    7440 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    It is a cute idea and you can always use it as a right hand ring later on. There are so many posts of bees who do it like their engagement ring and don’t know how to bring it up. You get to chose a ring together and avoid it. 

    Really, you are making an issue out of a non issue

    Post # 6
    632 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    To be honest I would be a little disappointed, not to say wouldn’t be thrilled he proposed: but he did say he wants to pick it out with you after right? That way you get exactly what you want.

    Post # 7
    690 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    This sounds very high school: having a ring to show off…

    Post # 8
    832 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    If he wants to pick out the ring together, why wouldn’t he just propose with NO ring?  I’d prefer that actually.

    Post # 9
    6300 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    justadream :  I think every couple and situation is different, and what is right or ok for one couple doesn’t mean it has to be right and ok for another couple. I think it’s crappy when people say “if you care more about a ring than you should be engaged”…sorry, but it’s not always so black and white.

    Generally I’m of the camp that you should be happy with what you get provided it’s within budget.

    FWIW, I’d have been pretty upset – and here’s why : DH and I had been together over 10 years when we got engaged and married. We got together young, and while I was certainly ready to get married much earlier we put it on the back burner for DH to climb the ladder in his career and feel settled/accomplished. Sure we could have done that together as a married couple but he’s traditional in the sense that he needed to feel financially secure. He has a very unique job that requires a lot of change and travel, and so like a lot of families there were some sacrifices made for him to be able to do his job. It was the right decision for US and I wouldn’t change it. That being said….he had over 10 years to save. In that time frame we had the chance to buy a house (which we did) and do a few other things. Had he come at me with a promise ring I’d have been pretty irritated considering how much of my life I sacrified for him and his job.

    Post # 10
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I would have rather him save whatever he spent on a “promise ring” to put toward my actual enagement ring.

    If he already got the ring I would just treat it as my engagement ring and then upgrade later. I would never go around saying I was wearing a “promise ring”.

    Post # 11
    5648 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I really don’t get all this proposal stuff. It just seems like torture. You both talk about it yes? And you both want to marry each other? And you agree on when? Well then he can just ask you if you like and….you’re engaged. My DH wanted to have THE ring in his possession to propose but it was just us and him on bended knee. But it doesn’t matter. I knew it was coming and we talk about big life changing stuff like this.  I had friends who got engaged with a gummy ring (cute photos!) and then went out that weekend a bought her a diamond together. Perfect! To answer your question more directly, I’m somewhat sentimental and would like the ring he proposed with to be my forever ring, but if he’d sponatiously felt the urge to go on bended knee with a sweet wrapper it wouldn’t matter. Maybe your guy is thinking he’s being smart buy getting buying your forever ring together so you get exactly the ring you’d like.  Asking a guy to pick out what you want ‘blind’ is a pretty big ask if you haven’t talked about it. 

    Post # 12
    2864 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t get when women call other women superficial for wanting to like her engagement ring (like any other present) or think that if you dont like your engagement ring which you would be wearing for the rest of your life, you’re not mature enough.

    Post # 13
    4509 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I actually think its really nice that he has purchased a placeholder to propose with so you can pick out a ring together after the fact.  He wants you to love your forever ring.

    Post # 14
    8602 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    If it was all he could afford, or it was a placeholder till we went shopping for the engagement ring Id love it. If youd rather get engaged with the engagement ring just tell him but it probably takes the fun out of it for him to shop with you beforehand. If you want him to surprise you, also just tell him, but dont come here whining you dont like what he picked!

    Post # 15
    72 posts
    Worker bee

    I’d be happy if he proposed with anything right now! A Haribo ring would do. Lol!

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