How would you feel if he proposed with a promise ring?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How would you feel if he proposed with a promise ring?
    I'd just be happy he proposed! : (207 votes)
    70 %
    I'd be a little disappointed : (53 votes)
    18 %
    I'd be upset/angry : (34 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 16
    3606 posts
    Sugar bee

    My husband’s original plan was to propose with my mom’s engagement ring (she has two, since she upgraded), as a placeholder until he was no longer a student and could afford an engagement ring. When we got engaged, I really couldn’t have cared less what he proposed with, I was just happy to be marrying him. I know a lot of bees will say that just for the purpose of making you feel materialistic, but my point is more to say that getting engaged and being with the person I wanted to be with forever far surpassed any interest in having a flashy ring or showing it off. If you are feeling like you’ll be embarassed not to have a big rock on your hand when telling people, I get it, but I hope your excitement about your future Fiance will help you block that out.

    Post # 17
    423 posts
    Helper bee

    To me a ring is a ring, who cares what label it had attached to it previously?

    Post # 18
    265 posts
    Helper bee

    Personally, I would not be too keen on a promise ring as a proposal. I am a sentimental type of person and the ring I am proposed to with I want to be my “forever” ring as you explained. 

    Post # 19
    1815 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I would have been happier if he’d just asked me to get married with no ring, then gone out together to choose something. Like UK-bee says, if you’ve already discussed getting married, talked about when it should be, etc., then getting proposed to is no big deal.

    With both my fiances (yes, I’ve had two!), we talked about getting married first, went to the store, picked out the ring I liked, purchased it, then I waited for the”proposal”. There was no big surprise. I’m betting if you asked people, 95% would say that they knew a proposal was coming soon – maybe they didn’t know the exact time – but it’s never a big surprise as in “Wow – we never even discussed marriage! We’ve only been dating a few months, I just met his family, everything has been going really well, and then suddenly on Friday night we went to the movies, and we bought a large popcorn to share. In the bag was a little box. I pulled it out and opened it to find a ring. I looked up, and my Darling Husband was on bended knee, asking me to marry him. The whole crowd at the theatre clapped for us!

    Now that he’s already bought the Promise Ring, you’re kind of stuck. Maybe you will be lucky and will be able to trade in the ring for an upgraded engagement ring. I know some companies will sell you a diamond,and put it in a ‘holder’ – so the guy is proposing with the diamond, but you get to choose the exact setting you want later. At least then you always have you “engagement diamond” for sentimental purposes.

    One other idea would be to take the diamond (or whatever stones are in the promise ring) and either include them somehow in your wedding set; or save for a later date, when you have kids. Then you could have a “family ring” made – including the stone from your Promise ring, as well as the birthstones of your children, and make it into a sentimental family ring you can wear to symbolize your whole marriage / family.

    No matter what, at this point he’s purchased the Promise ring, so you’re getting it. At least he was nice enough to think that you should be included in purchasing your engagement ring – and you’ll be able to choose the one you want. At least be happy about that! If you don’t have anything to show to people at first, that’s ok – you can always say it’s in being re-sized.

    Post # 20
    799 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Personally if you’re worried about the ring then you should reconsider why you want to get engage. Yea having a a big diamond ring would be nice to show off and what not, but in the end what does that really matter? Can you not show off your promise ring? Honestly who cares hwat ring he uses. As long as you both are in love

    Post # 21
    3523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    I think it’s sweet.  He wants to get you a forever ring that you want, but still wants the proposal to be a surprise and have a ring you can wear in the meantime. 

    Post # 22
    2610 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

    A ring is a ring… I hate that there are labels such as a promise ring or engagement ring tied to particular groups of rings. Any ring can be an engagement ring if used in a proposal. By most engagement ring standards and assumptions, my engagement does not fit into the “engagement ring” category. By mall jewelry stores, mine would be considered a birthstone ring. While my stone is my birthstone, that doesn’t make it any less of an engagement ring. It is a symbol of love and your relationship. Screw the standard and the inflated prices of diamonds created by debeers. The ring on your finger is meant to be a symbol not a material item linked to its price tag. I love that mine is unique because my relationship is unique and it fits me and my personality and it was given to me by someone I cherish and truly love who means more to me than any piece of jewelry. I would’ve happily taken any ring given to me with the intention of love and the marriage proposal. Take this into consideration. The news is that you’ll be engaged, not that someone bought you a ring.

    Post # 23
    1424 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    Because an engagement is all about the ring and what a jeweller calls that ring…

    Post # 24
    2146 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    what the hell is a ‘promise’ ring?

    a ring is a ring and any ring proposed with is an engagement ring weather its diamond or plain metal or a birthstone or even human hair

    Post # 25
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2017 - Canvas Event Space

    My fiance proposed to me with a stirling silver ring with an infinity sign from my favourite jewelry store that I have several similar style rings from.

    This was the “placeholder” until we went the following week to pick out the “real” thing together. I still wear the infinity ring on my right hand every day.

    I’m very rarely disappointed when I think back on it. Once or twice I have been if I’m being perfectly honest, but I was just so happy and excited at the time that I really didn’t care. Most of my girlfriends were jealous that I got to pick it out and almost every guy said “That’s smart. Atta-boy!”

    Post # 26
    1012 posts
    Bumble bee

    Why is it a “promise” ring? It sounds like it’s a pretty ring that’s cheaper than one you prefer?

    I think it’s lovely that he’s proposing, and a ring doesn’t really matter!

    Post # 27
    9163 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i don’t get the concept of a promise ring, are you engaged or not.  you are not in middle school.

    if he can’t afford the ring, use the “promise” ring as your ering and upgrade later.

    Post # 28
    4260 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

    My husband proposed with an actual twist tie.  I was just happy to be engaged.

    Post # 29
    1424 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I’m shocked at how many people voted that they’d be angry to be honest. You’d be angry that the person you love has asked you to spend the rest of your life with them? 

    Post # 30
    5120 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    If you’re engaged, it’s an engagement ring, not a promise ring. If you get another ring, that will be an upgrade. 

    I, personally, don’t really like the idea of upgrading, so this plan wouldn’t be particularly savory to me. I want to wear my engagement ring the rest of my life and, to me, an upgrade isn’t your engagement ring. I’d prefer being proposed to with no ring.

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