How would you feel if he proposed with a promise ring?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How would you feel if he proposed with a promise ring?
    I'd just be happy he proposed! : (207 votes)
    70 %
    I'd be a little disappointed : (53 votes)
    18 %
    I'd be upset/angry : (34 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t understand the point of the promise ring tbh.  I’d rather have a steak dinner.

    Post # 47
    Member
    403 posts
    Helper bee

    A promise ring is what your 12 year old boyfriend from Happy Acres Middle school gave  you. You’re an adult entering an adult situation. Get a diamond.

    Post # 48
    Hostess
    3831 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    My Fiance proposed without a ring. He was inspired and said what was in his heart. I still don’t have my forever engagement ring, but he has purchased my wedding band. I wear a Qalo band for now, and it’s fine for me. I want to be married to that man so bad it aches. We’ll get some fancy schmancy ring down the road…maybe. It doesn’t really matter to me at all. I get to marry the most wonderful man I’ve ever met. I get a gold band to show the world we are a unit, anything else is just fluff. Nice fluff, but fluff all the same.

    Post # 49
    Member
    2509 posts
    Sugar bee

    Honestly, *I’D* be happy even if he proposed with no ring. SO is the one hung up on doing things the traditional way. We are planning/building the ring together anyways, what does it matter if we do that before he proposes or after? I think SO wants to have something to “show off” when we make the announcement, since it’s what everyone expects.

    That’s probably why your SO is thinking promise ring. To have something to show people when they ask in the interrum before getting your ering, and you can always keep that little ring as a sentimental rhr. It sounds like he’s just so excited to be engaged to you that he can’t force himself to wait until he has his full budget saved up, and I think that’s very sweet.

    Post # 50
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee

    I would be fine with it if that’s all he could afford.  At least he’s making the effort!!!

    Post # 51
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    It sounds like he is giving you the temporary ring until you can choose one that is perfect for you. So in reality, isn’t he just trying to make sure you will love your forever ring? There are so many women here who wish they’d had a say in their engagement rings, so for you to be complaining that he wants you to help choose it seems petty. A guy just can’t win.

    My Darling Husband proposed with no ring. He happened to be overcome by emotion at the time and just proposed right there. To be disappointed with that seems like a terribly selfish and immature thing, but everyone is different. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    870 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    justadream :  this is your third or fourth post in what, 5 or 6 months about this? i cannot understand what’s happening in your situation. 5 months ago you said he had the ring for 6 months. so, has he had the “promise ring” for almost a year now and hasn’t proposed? if so, why the exceptionally long wait? why keep you waiting like this? it seems cruel. and why are you not having more discussions with him if this is so important? if you have been upset about a proposal for this long, what is left in your relationship at this point? after about a year of this if you aren’t on the same page maybe you should move on?

    i just don’t understand..  i apologize if i’m rude at all. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee

    If he’s proposing to you with it, it’s an engagement ring. Not a promise ring. It’s not about the price of the ring. It’s about your love and wanting to spend your lives together. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    223 posts
    Helper bee

    Nope…I would be happy that he was proposing and excited that I got to have a say in what it looked like!  But if the idea of his plan really bothers you that bad, then (politely) let him know how you feel. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    953 posts
    Busy bee

    This is a response to OP, I didn’t read all the other replies. 

    My Darling Husband proposed wtih a plain gold band and told me I could pick out my own e-ring. I loved picking it out myself! It took me about 7 months to decide on one! And I’m glad he had already proposed when we went ring shopping. I wore my plain gold band with pride! Now the gold band is my wedding band, and I got the e-ring I wanted. I couldn’t have asked for a better proposal. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    My partner proposed to me with what I affectionately refer to as “my mock rock” but it is still an engagement ring! Afterwards I let everyone know I was engaged. His plan was always to shop for one together as he wanted me to get something I loved because I would be wearing it for the rest of my life. Definately don’t be dissappointed. Shopping for the ring is sooooooo fun and they give you champagne 🙂 I loved that my partner did it this way. I got the ring I wanted, a spare, and good value for money. Trust me, it’s a win. 

    Post # 57
    Member
    2146 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    are you trying to say all us bees with non diamond rings are not ‘adults in adult situations’?

    like unless its a diamond we are immature because I actually think the EXACT opposit is true, if your mature and want to get married then the ring doesnt matter at all because your ‘adult’ enough to see the importace and seriousness of the step in your life not the materialism and ability to impress your friends

    Post # 58
    Member
    1424 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    crackerjax :  You don’t have to have a diamond engagement ring to be engaged or an adult… Guess I’m not engaged with my topaz engagement ring then…

    Post # 59
    Member
    1958 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    We’d spoken about getting married and it was going to happen sooner rather than later when my husband suggested we buy a ring. I told him that we didn’t need a proposal, that buying a ring was the proposal. So we shopped for a ring that I loved and bought it. The ring needed resizing so we didn’t leave with the ring, just left our address with the shop and a dent in our credit card. We told our families we were engaged and we celebrated.

    Later that evening, my husband got one knee with a sweet (pretty much as UK-Bee said). He put the sweet on my finger and it was sticky but I cried, said yes and ate my ring. The day after we saw a cheap £5 ring in a deptartment shop. It was gaudy and brash. It had like 40 little dimantes on this big, brash piece of metal. It was a touch too small for me and it turned my finger green. I wore it for one day before we decided it wasn’t worth the finger discolouration. I didn’t have my engagement ring for a while after we were engaged but I didn’t feel less engaged.

    We buy the sweets that he proposed with pretty regularly and we love them. They’re so special to us. We propose to each other quite regalarle with these sweets, despite the fact that we’re still married. We just change it to “would you still marry me?” We’re such losers with it but we love reproposing with our sweets. I don’t wear that cheap ring but it lives in my jewellery box. It’s protected from the world, not for its ability to turn fingers green but because it means a lot to me. My engagement ring means no less to me because it didn’t factor into any part of the proposal because now it sits with my wedding ring and there’s more there than just the proposal. I look at my real rings now and I remember all of it. I look at my horrible finger ruining ring and I laugh about us walking around and being grossed out by my green finger and ugly ring. And I look at a pack of sweets remember when my favourite person asked me to spend my life with him.

    However many rings you get and whatever you do with them it doesn’t stop them being sentimental. If this is a way in which he feels confident about asking you and confident that you’ll be happiest in the long term then let him do it this way.

    Post # 60
    Member
    403 posts
    Helper bee

    KellyB262 :  If you get engaged an aren’t an adult you’re headed for trouble. Marriage isn’t for the immature!

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