(Closed) How would you feel if you were called a “BRIDEZILLA”???

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think you have every right to be upset. When you’re a bridesmaid you do everything you can to make the bride happy in my opinion. You picked dresses you love and that’s what matters. It’s about what you want.

Just ignore her… I went through the same things and they just don’t get it

Post # 4
Hostess
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I would be pretty irritated if someone called me a Bridezilla and I think that term is used far too often. I actually think it hinders brides from being more forward with what they want in fear of being deemed the awful “B” word. I have noticed this in my own experience as well.

As for your bridesmaids while they are entitled to their opinions there is this funny thing called tact. If you don’t have it then keep your opinions to yourself, there is a time and place. I would just tell them that this is your wedding and while you appreciate their ideas you need to do what is best for the overall vision you have.

That being said Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses constantly change styles and are discontinued. I think it is a bit early to be sold on something.

Post # 5
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d be upset and would ignore her. There’s a point where you become unreasonable but you don’t sound like you reached it. 4/5 bridesmaids is pretty good odds for picking a dress! And she really has no say in your wedding dress.

Post # 6
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That was bratty of her to say, and I’d be hurt too…and no, picking out a dress does not qualify as “bridezilla’ behavior.

 

BUT…

Its way too early for you to be having them buy the dresses. Looking, sure, but not buying. 6 months or so is typical for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses.  See the post from earlier today where a girl changed her mind after all the dresses were purchased – with well over a year to go, your vision, colors, budget, and other things could change.  I know its hard – but just wait.  

Post # 7
Member
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmmm…I think it would depend on how you told your friend.  If you had an attitude like “Well it’s my day and I’m going to do what I want!” and whined and stomped your feet – then yes you were being a bridezilla and I would take the moment to learn from it.  If however, you were more calm and said something like “Friend, I appreciate your input, but this is the dress I really like and have chosen.”  Then she had no right to call you a bridezilla and I think it’s ok to be hurt.

 

However, I think it’s important to note a few things to try and see where your Bridesmaid or Best Man might be coming from.

1. You are looking at dress very very early so you need to understand if someone can’t afford the dress right now.  Also, they may not be super excited because it is annoying to have to pay for a dress then have it sit in your closet for over a year.

2. Have you asked your BMs privately what their budgets are?  What seems reasonable to you might not be to someone else.

3. You won’t be able to please everyone, but you should try your best to make sure everyone is comfortable.  Honestly, I think the comfort of your BMs should trump your wedding vision.  Remeber, these are your best friends and you don’t want to make them buy and wear something they really hate.

 

Also, don’t be too hurt that she said she didn’t like the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress or your wedding dress.  If you asked for opinions, you should be prepared to get negative ones. 

 

Post # 8
Member
46680 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think anything you did warrants the term “bridezilla”.

We are all entitled to our feelings- no one can say you do or do not have a right to your feelings.

I do suggest though, that you are looking way too early. There have been countless posts from Bees who changed their minds, or worse yet, changed their bridesmaids.

Tell your BM’s the budget you will try to work within and they can start saving.

Post # 9
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The only time I was ever told I was being a bridezilla seriously (by a “friend” of mine that wasn’t chosen to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and was jealous because of it), my Maid/Matron of Honor went ‘F**k off, no she’s not! Get your head out of your a**!’ Hahaha! It was totally epic and I was really glad to have her there.

 

You were not being a bridezilla from what it looks like, but you are looking at Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses WAY early. We literally just bought dresses last week and I’m getting married in 3.5 months.

Post # 11
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was called a bridezilla because I asked my mom not to wear black at my wedding and the sales lady said it under her breath…

 

It is overused.Anyways I think it is too early. I would wait a little..

Post # 12
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I was called a Bridezilla two weeks into my planning.  It really hurt my feelings.

Post # 13
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can relate. My grandma keeps calling me a bridezilla because I didn’t like the wedding stuff at Joann Fabrics because I told her I was ordering unique items she said my wedding was too fancy and that I was a bridezilla. I don’t believe that just because my wedding is fancy that it means I am a bridezilla. I think she believes that I should just be happy with whatever is in front of me because everything should be that simple. Um no sorry this is my day. And as far as the bridesmaids go I have pretty much let them be mostly free with their dress choices they just had to get black, satin, knee-length, dresses from DB. Now their telling me that I should let my one pregnant bridesmaid get a chiffon dress. I don’t see why they cannot find one dress in flowy satin that will work and buy it a little big, grandma is going to alter it to fit right before, to wear for one day and I would like to have the same fabric for all the girls. She will only be 5 months along and I am even paying for it. They have even called me a bridezilla over my invitation and cake choices. I guess if the bride picks out things that are not what other people invision for her wedding she is a bridezilla. Really it’s my wedding people. I definately feel that people are slapped with the bridezilla label for unjustified reasons nowadays. If anything it should be maidzilla, guestzilla, etc. LOL

Post # 14
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee

Could your friend be jealous? Many years ago when I was young and stupid I was a total b*atch to a friend planning her wedding, I didn’t really realise at the time but I probably said things like that to her. I ended up not even being invited. Now we are friends again but looking back I can see I was jealous of her happiness and being secure in her relationship, because I wasn’t at the time. I am embarrassed for how I acted! I kind of wish she’d called me on it by telling me I was being mean, because I think that would have helped me grow up and probably made her feel better too, but I totally understand why she just let me go instead. You could attempt to go down that route if your friend says anything else, to see if there’s anything bothering her that’s making her be unsupportive. If not, then maybe she’s just not a very good friend!

Post # 15
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

“Um no sorry this is my day”

Its THAT attitude – not anything specific that you want – that lends itself to people calling you a bridezilla.

If you want it to be just YOUR day, elope.   If you want bridesmaids, family, friends, etc to participate, its only fair to consider their feelings too.

Post # 16
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mandypop:  I didn’t actually say that to her. So any kind of comment lands you the bridezilla tag these days?

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