How would you feel if your husband did this?

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3005 posts
Sugar bee

Very strange – so he just confessed to you out of the blue that he had done this?

I would be super weirded out and hurt by this. I’m not sure I’d leave over it – especially if my husband told me directly about it rather than me stumbling across it somehow on my own – But it would definitely warrant some serious conversations and probably counseling at the minimum. I don’t want my partner sending nudes to anyone, period! I don’t think that’s a very ridiculous boundary to have.

Post # 3
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

tiffani007 :  I don’t know!  I don’t think you’re wrong to be upset though.  I would certainly be.  Who is he waiting to impress with it?

Post # 4
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Frankly I don’t think I could be with him anymore. He was looking for validation of his dick by other women. No thank you. 

Post # 5
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I would be beyond upset. It would be so out of my DH’s character, that I would be shocked and angry. 

Post # 6
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

tiffani007 :  I would feel sad for my husband if this happened to me. And I would feel frustrated and upset as well. I don’t think it is okay for a spouse to post nude photos online to any site or social media platform, regardless of circumstance. So to me, this would be damaging to my trust. I would advise counseling for the both of you. It sounds like he would benefit from it, and it will likely help you process and navigate the situation as a couple. I don’t think it would cause me to leave him, I would just personally need quite some time to heal. 

If he can’t come to you with intimate concerns now, I worry about the future. I’m really sorry bee, this would be upsetting to me too. 

Post # 7
Member
7755 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If it’s really a self esteem issue, that’s a little sad. Did you know he had self esteem issues before this? Any exhibitionist tendencies? 

Another option is that he was looking to hook up with someone, which would not be good for your marriage either. Any signs of infidelity? 

Lastly, that “woman” who rated his penis could very well have been a dude. That’s food for thought for him. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. 

I would need to know the true underlying reason for his behavior to figure out what to do for the long term. 

Post # 8
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’d laugh my head off. And probably keep ribbing him about it for years.  Guys are strange. 

Post # 10
Member
1806 posts
Buzzing bee

I think what he did is colossally stupid, but this is the kind of thing that happens in the age of the Internet. Being married does not mean that a person will never again have moments of self-doubt, loneliness, or stupidity. And a spouse is not a magician who can be expected to solve every problem and make better any such low moments. 

Have a talk with him. A talk, not a lecture or an inquisition. If he knows what he did was dumb and gorpy, let him digest it. Ask if he thinks he will ever do such a thing again. If he says no, let it be and see if anything happens again. If he says “I don’t know” give him a raft of shit and see if  anything happens again.

Post # 13
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

bubbles00 :  ha, im in the same boat as you. Id be more worried for him that he put a picture of himself that could come back to haunt him, then i would be upset about random strangers looking at it. 

ive learned that guys are strange at every age… 

Post # 14
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

tiffani007 :  Compltely understandable. It would rock me to more core if my FI did this to me so you have every right to feel the emotions you are. I recommend taking time to process on your own, and then sitting down with your husband to have a conversation about how you feel, and maybe seeing if you can do anything (within reason and within your power) to help him feel more confident within your relationship together.

I find it just odd in general that he needed validation from other people instead of you because your validation and opinion is the only thing that matters since he is a married and committed man now.

If you’re open to counseling, I would ask if he would attend a couples therapy session with you to help dialogue flow easier and so you can work through this together. Best of luck bee!

Post # 15
Member
7755 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

With the extra context, I really feel sorry for him, and I’m sorry you have to go through this tough time with him. He needs counseling. I would also reassure him of all his great qualities. He’s more than just his weight.

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