Post # 17
My husband doesn
t wear his often because of work issues. He does on weekends and stuff,usually if he remembers. Some days I forget to put mine on too, or just figure I wont wear mine that day, no biggie.
Post # 18
I work in a very male dominated office, and have definitely overheard newlywed guys having a little bitch about how uncomfortable a ring is when they’ve never worn one before. Is this the first ring he would have worn?
My SO is a really man man (ie most definitely has never worn any jewelry what so ever), and I honestly don’t know if he’d wear one, and I grew up with my father never wearing a ring (although my parents married long before I came along- i actually don’t know if he ever wore one), so maybe I’m skewed, but I’d be pretty understanding.
Id go with your second reaction, it’s his heart and attitude that matters!
Post # 19
Darling Husband still forgets to wear his ring once in awhile and he never wears it around the house. Doesn’t bother me. I just know he doesn’t particularly like wearing a ring and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with our marriage.
Post # 20
We aren’t married yet, but I doubt this will happen to us – we are in the opposite situation!
When I first got the ring, I was terrified of losing or damaging it – it was so pretty! I would take it off to do any/all housework, and at first I did not wear it to work (at a daycare, where I had to constantly put on gloves, wash my hands, use hand sanitizer, and cleaning products).
Fiance was a little upset that I did not wear it all the time – it was cute, he would always ask me why I wasn’t wearing it – he noticed right away. I think it was a combo of being afraid I would lose it/forget where it was and being hurt that I wasn’t showing it off all the time.
He is planning to get a very durable metal, so that he can wear his and not worry about scratching it, but I expect he will take it off when doing manual work because it might pinch his fingers/cut into his skin.
I might be a little upset if he did not wear it 50-60% of the time, at least. Otherwise, why have it?
Post # 21
Maybe stop wearing yours for a couple days and see what he says. You are either proving a point or you will find out it is just not an issue for him, in which case you can decide to try to get over the fact.
Post # 22
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: I don’t feel it defines our marriage but I was very upfront with Darling Husband that this was something that’s important to me. I want him to be proud to wear a SYMBOL of our marriage. I think he looks so sexy with it, too ;o)
Post # 23
He already asked me if I was cool with him taking it off during sports, being in a pool, etc or other times that it could get lost. I said that wsa fine, as long as it was fine for me too. The ring is an important symbol for me, but I don’t want to constantly worry about losing it when I should be having fun!
Post # 24
I think, for me personally, if I saw this happening, I would ask why he wasn’t wearing it first (before feeling hurt). And if it were an issue like it was a bit loose or something else easily fixable, I would have it sized. Then if all the physical issue with the ring got fixed, and he continued to not wear it, I think I would be extremely upset. To me, its definitely not just a piece of metal. I think its normal to take jewelry off at night, or when you get in the house even (especially if you’re going to cook or do yard work or something), but to just not wear it all the time would not be cool with me.
Post # 25
My Darling Husband takes his off to shower, before bed, when cooking/cleaning…so he often forgets to put it on before going to work or leaving the house. I get a little annoyed sometimes when it’s been three days straight he’s forgotten to put it on…but it doesn’t really bother me that much. I would prefer he wears it, but I’m not offended or upset if he goes a couple days here and there without it. Luckily we got him a very inexpensive ring and bought me a nice one 😉 I would be mad if we had gotten him an expensive platinum one and he didn’t use it LOL.
Post # 26
@Rivendeler: OP, I think you just need to let him know it’s important to you. Why spend hundreds of dollars on something that’s not used? If the purpose of it was just to have somethign to use in the ceremony, you could have found something out of a vending machine for a quarter! Don’t be passive aggressive about this. It’s OK to stand up on this one!
Post # 27
Thanks, bees! Well, i KNOW he’s not used to rings, for a fact so it may come a bit weird for him (he’s 51 and never wore one, that i know of!). And the ring IS loose..we’ll see if the ring shows up later on..if not i will be really sad..
Post # 28
It would really upset me if my Fiance decided to do that. I had a very close friend carry on an affair for several months, and I remember him telling me he always had to take his wedding ring off, even though his mistress knew he was married. A ring is just such a huge, symbolic thing, for me at least… Not that my fiance would have an affair, but it just always sticks in my mind after my friend did that.
Post # 29
Darling Husband always wears his ring, but if he didn’t want to, I really wouldn’t care. It’s actually me that takes mine off. The first thing I do when I get him is put my rings upstairs and get changed. While I wear them to work and out most places, I have a tendency to forget them if we are just running out for dinner or hanging out with friends. He doesn’t care that I don’t wear mine thankfully. I actually feel bad not wearing it, more ‘awkward’ when we go out.. like I’m that mistress and he’s cheating on his wife with me.
Post # 30
I would be upset; however, I do agree that maybe it’s just not comfortable/he’s not used to it. My Fiance has worn a ring on his left middle finger for longer than I’ve known him. I bought him another ring (he’d been mentioning wanting a black ring) and he ended up switching the two out and the new one was so umcomfortable for him because it was a lot thicker than the old one. He’s tried out wearing a ring on his ring finger, but the skin between his ring and middle fingers sits weird, and wearing anything other than a very thin (1mm–thickness, not width) band is uncomfortable. Naturally, no one makes 1mm bands out of any sturdy metals. I did find a site that can make the band we want in 1.5, so hopefully that will be okay for him. I’m sure he’d wear it and be uncomfortable anyway.
TL;DR Maybe it’s uncomfortable for him to wear?
Post # 31
Honestly, I wouldn’t get too bent out of shape. Maybe casually bring it up? I did with Darling Husband when I noticed he wasn’t wearing his anymore, and a simple, acceptable answer came from it.
Everyone is different. I know some that wear their ring 24/7, others that don’t wear it all, and a few that wear it when they go out. All are committed to their marriage and wife. For Darling Husband, I’ve known from day 1 that he wasn’t entirely comfortable wearing a ring (his dad and uncles didn’t), but he knew that it was semi-important to me, so he did wear it when he went out. He doesn’t wear it now, though, because his fingers swell ridiciously in the hot weather and he got really freaked out earlier when he had a hard time taking it off his finger.