(Closed) How would you feel in this situation?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
47187 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

LoveWillLightTheWay :  The difference is that you can’t accidentally have a steak. You can acidentally get pregnant, process the idea, then be happy about it.

Post # 17
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was in this exact same situation my current pregnancy. If asked, I would go on and on about how we were planning to have another baby some day but not any time soon, blablabla. Except I got pregnant by surprise and only found out at 7 weeks. So as I was saying those things, I was already pregnant. It was a bit of a shock, but honestly, it’s not anybody’s business. She doesn’t owe you an explanation or *gasp* an apology. 

Post # 18
Member
621 posts
Busy bee

Even if this is your best friend in the world, you are not entitled to information about her reproductive life. You literally have no idea why she said it wasn’t in the cards right now – finances, fertility problems, actually not wanting a child but now excited about it – and you have no reason to feel betrayed or lied to. Being upset about this is pretty ridiculous. She decided to share her excitement with you – be happy for her and move on. 

Post # 19
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Beck Rec center

Im going to be real honest with you dear… please get out of your feelings. Be happy for your friend..its been months since you seen her maybe she just got to that happy joyful place. 

Post # 20
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

I understand where you are coming from. You feel more hurt about the fact that she possibly lied to you. Or that she talked about one thing and did another. But what reason would she have to lie about that anyways. If it were me,i would have been like oh I thought you were going to wait a while or something but not being super serious,  if i really wanted to know. But it does sound like it was not planned. 

Post # 21
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

LoveWillLightTheWay :  maybe she was concerned for the pregnancy and did not want to celebrate too soon. I know that if i got pregnant at this time I dont think I would tell my 2 life long friends, sister and mom. would just be to much to bear if i celebrated and then lost the baby.

Post # 22
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

LoveWillLightTheWay :  I have told many a women I work with that we are not trying and have no plans to in the near future and here we are 7 months into our TTC journey. 

I’ve also had many of them say the same thing to me and then when they announce the pregnancy they apologize saying sorry they couldn’t tell me as it was a tough journey for them.

I don’t feel betrayed or lied to, their journey is their own and they can tell whoever whatever whenever they feel is right for them.

On the other hand like another bee said this could have been a complete accident 

Post # 23
Member
1800 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Asking someone this question is very personal. They could have been trying for years and she just didn’t want to open that can of worms. 

Post # 24
Member
300 posts
Helper bee

That’s ridiculous. Plus, I’ve been that coworker once. I once told a friend that we weren’t planning to start TTC for a year or two but after talking to Darling Husband after that conversation, we changed our minds and a month later I was pregnant. Gee, I hope my friend didn’t feel betrayed or lied to.

Post # 25
Member
42 posts
Newbee

Maybe it was an accident, or perhaps they had actually been trying for a while and she was upset about it, so didn’t want to talk about it? Try not to take it personally, I am sure she didn’t mean to upset you.

Post # 26
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’ve been telling all my friends that we are not trying any time soon. Id happily try tomorrow but hubby isnt there. If he suddenly was ready i wouldn’t be going around telling people either.

Post # 27
Member
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is completely asinine. 

Post # 28
Member
2460 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe when she went on her rant when she originally told you kids weren’t in the cards for them right now, maybe they were trying and it was just taking so long that she was upset over it or something and she was trying to cover it up by saying that they didn’t want kids now or something. 

Or it was an accident and they’ve come to terms with it. 

I wouldn’t worry about the comment either, I would just be happy for her and not think to much into it regardless. 

Post # 29
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I don’t feel the need to tell anyone about my TTC, no one knows but myself and my husband. People have asked because we are newly weds but we don’t tell them we are trying. It’s no one’s business. 

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