(Closed) How would you handle this?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 31
Member
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Whaaaat. The teacher does NOT get to decide what is an “appropriate” snack for someone else’s kid. And better for the kid to have a sugary snack than no snack at all.

Post # 32
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s a tough call because schools are now so responsible for students’ health and nutrition. At the last school I worked at I’d say a maximum of 15% of the parents were involved in their children’s lives. The school had to do all the calls to the doctor, discipline for fights etc. that occured out of school (literally, parents would call in and tell the principal their child got in a fight and could you talk to them?), morning meds etc. A parent who even knew what their child ate in a day would be a welcomed rarity. I understand the PP’s saying this teacher overstepped her boundaries, but lately teachers have been expected to basically act as parents to their students and sometimes also to the parents themselves. They’re forced to be overly responsible for some students. But this depends on the school.

The teacher may have felt as though she needed to take the snack away to keep the other kids from saying “hey, how come she can have cookies but we have to bring carrot sticks?”If she’s been teaching for a long time she may have seen it happen where one kid brings in something unhealthy and then kids go home and complain to their parents and she starts getting angry phone calls etc. It’s also hard to know how much pressure is put on the administration about these things. I’ve worked at a school where the principal was a tyrant, the teachers were literally walking on egg shells all day. And the students were the ones who suffered.

I probably wouldn’t have been happy if this were my kid because it made her feel like she did something wrong when she didn’t. In all honesty tho, she’s probably better off waiting until lunch than she is having cookies in the morning. I would have just apologized to my daughter and called the teacher to tell her I didn’t like how she handled it. The proper way to handle it would be to remind the parents politely if they had a habit of always sending in junk food for snacks.

 

Post # 33
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

I would be on the phone with the teacher and principal immediately. Totally uncalled for. To make the child suffer for her mom’s “mistake” is absolutely ridiculous. The teacher should have just sent home a reminder note for the mom. She should not have taken the cookies away!!

Post # 36
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

Ridiculous. And the poor baby probably sat there watching everyone else eat their snack while she couldn’t have hers. This teacher needs to learn boundaries.

Post # 37
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@stardustintheeyes: I don’t think anyone, including teachers who set rules for their classroom are calling you a bad mom. Teachers have to set rules in their room to keep the kids safe and create an environement for learning. I am sure the teacher is doing what they think is best for all the children by eliminating this distraction. We have rules at our house that you have to eat dinner before dessert. If your child comes over for dinner I would expect them to follow those rules, and that would not be a judgement on your parenting, but a reflection of our rules.

Post # 38
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

My question is… What kind of message does it send to a little girl that “You should starve instead of eating a cookie”? Do you really want to send the message that cookies are the devil and that a better alternative is to just not eat instead? Or explain to her that cookies are meant for special occasions or if there is nothing more healthy to eat then that. Just taking them away and declaring them bad and wrong is horrid!

Post # 39
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

As a teacher, I can say that your niece’s teacher’s actions were WAY out of line.  While she can recommend that her students eat healthy, she has no right to be taking your niece’s snack away.  As others have already said, she should have allowed your niece to eat the cookies, but sent home a note reminding your sister about the policies in the classroom.  If your niece was my daughter, I would be livid, and following up with a phone call to the principal. 

As a sidenote, it’s now a law in the province where I live that schools are not allowed to sell/provide junk food. 

Post # 40
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@stardustintheeyes: I see where you’re coming from, maybe I wasn’t clear enough in saying that I don’t think teachers should be so involved in these things. I’m only saying in a lot of schools the parents wash their hands of all responsibility as soon as their child walks through the door. It’s a shame but it’s true. Your cousin is not one of those parents, she’s responsible for her kids, which is why this bothered her. At the school I worked at the policies did offend a lot of parents, but they were in place to accomodate the kids whose parents didn’t do anything for their kids. I’m just saying I don’t know enough about the teacher’s motivation or school policies to say I would be livid. I think there’s a little grey area here, sorry if that offends anybody.

Post # 43
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@stardustintheeyes: Wow, I was just trying to get the point to you that although our opinions are different that it doesn’t mean that someone is judging you as a parent. I am not sure why you asked opinions if you were going to be so defensive when people don’t agree with you.

Anyways back to the post above: I am glad the prinicple is agreeing to help your cousin and the teacher smooth things over. It is important that your cousin feels comgortable and knows that her daughter is in a good environment.

Post # 44
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Wow!  I’m a little late to this one… but having worked in schools for many years and having faced this same situation, there’s no way we’d take food away from one child while everyone received a snack.  I agree with pp that a more subtle response was needed and it’s definitely something I’d expect a parent to want resolved.  We called cookies and the like “sometimes foods” and well, that was one of those “sometimes”.  Making a kid feel like crap over a cookie just to make a point with the parent is overreaching.

I hope y’all get it settled! 

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