Post # 1
I had posted previously about how FI’s aunt and uncle announced they wanted to take the family (10 of us) on vacation the week after Christmas. They told everyone to brainstorm somewhere warm with beaches. So we all began thinking…
Today I get a call from Future Mother-In-Law who says the aunt now wants Disney. The busiest time ever for Disney. In a hit or miss weather time of year. With no real beaches.
None of us like the idea except the aunt and uncle. They know our concerns but are sticking to it.
Even Future Brother-In-Law and his wife (who have 2 kids) are against it.
So, I don’t want to be ungrateful but it’s hard enough for us to save up vacation time. So 40 hours of vacation time to stand in crowds and wait in lines and be stressed out just bums me out.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Post # 3
I was going to say don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but you have a point that it’s difficult to save up vacation as it is and to use it to go to a destination you aren’t thrilled about, that’s not fun.
If you REALLY are not looking forward to it and have no desire to go to Disneyland with everyone, then don’t. I would just tell them that while you so appreciate their generosity, you still have to use your time off, and you aren’t goig to come.
Is that really the worst time for DL? Seems like it would be a decent time to go. Certainly not 80 degrees though.
Post # 4
@Jw1724: I think your only options are to go on the vacation your aunt and uncle want, or to graciously decline. You don’t have to love the vacation idea, but you shouldn’t feel any bitterness towards your aunt and uncle for what is still a very generous gift offer.
Post # 5
@Jw1724: Ugh. Shared vacations are a special form of pain to me.
I would say something along the lines of, “We only get a small amount of vacation time per year, and we have other plans. We’d like to see you, but I don’t think an entire week is going to work.”
Post # 6
It’s only a two-hour drive to the beach. Go on the trip but tell them in advance you’d like to plan a beach day or two with whoever wants to join you.
Post # 7
I’d go. It will still be warmer than New Husband. There are heated pools at the Hotels and the beach, as PP noted, isn’t that far away. Plus it’s family and you’re not paying. You can save the money from this year towards your vacation to a beach next year.
Post # 8
sounds like hell to me. And yeah vacations are never free even if you don’t pay for it with money casue vacation days are more valuable than money sometimes.
Plus are they also paying for food and tickets and everything or just flight and accomodation, casue tickets to disney are insane.
I’d try to compromise and do a few days at disney and then at the beach or keys the rest of the time.
Unfortunately, no matter where you go that time of year it’ll be buisy.
Post # 9
If the other family members are more pro-beach too, I might keep quiet and secretly hope somebody else speaks up, haha. Especially since it’s your husband’s family, I would be very careful not to offend them.
If they end up doing Disney, graciously decline and say work won’t let you go that week or something and plan something with your husband later.
Post # 10
@MsJ2theZ: Disney world… yes. My friend works there and said they hit max capacity by 11:30am everyday that week due to it being a school vaca week. AHHH!!!
@Polygon: I feel like theres no way to decline without offending…
@Horseradish: A 2 hour drive in a rental car that would need to be paid for and would need car seats for the 2 kiddos… Major pain but def an option.
Post # 11
@Jw1724: If I were you I would politely bow out. There is no way I would waste my vacation time on a vacation that I wouldn’t enjoy, even if it was free.
Post # 12
@Jw1724: I would just be honest with them and tell them you don’t want to go to Disney. If it were me I’d say: “Thank you so much for the amazingly generous offer. After talking about it with Darling Husband we think we’re going to pass on this year’s trip. We think the kids will have a great time at Disney, but it’s somewhere we have a desire to visit. We just would not feel right about you spending that much money if we weren’t totally on board.”
Post # 13
I talked to Future Mother-In-Law about it. Shes a travel agent and is the one booking the trip. She said that Future Brother-In-Law, Future Father-In-Law, herself and Future Sister-In-Law are all against Disney. She is hoping to get together as much information as she can to convince them we should go somewhere else lol.
Post # 14
For me vacation time is more valuable than the money it costs to go on vacation, so I’m feeling you on this one.
It’s hard to be in this situation and not come off as ungrateful…but since people have already expressed that they don’t really want to go to Disney it sounds like your Aunt and Uncle are saying “come to Disney or don’t come”…right?
In that case, I’d just tell them that you really appreciate it but it’s not how you’d like to spend your vacation time this year.
Tough situation since you already sort of accepted…
Post # 15
@cbgg: We accepted under the belief that we were all going to decide on somewhere to go together. This curveball changes it haha. I even said to Future Mother-In-Law tonight, “I feel like I sound like an ungrateful brat.” She said “You are family. We will just have to work on this and if it doesnt work out then that’s what happens.They offered. That doesnt mean we have to except. That does not make us wrong.”
That calmed me down lol.
Post # 16
@Jw1724: Well that’s good, I’m glad you Mother-In-Law sees it the same way.
I totally agree with you, I wouldn’t want to go either regardless of who’s paying. My vacation time is too valuable to me to thow it away just because a trip is free!