(Closed) How would you handle this situation? Trying to get on the same page as DH

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
114 posts
Blushing bee

Is it something he could manage on his own? If you didn’t have to put in much effort or time at all, would you be okay with it then?

Post # 4
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@catnip:  Friends of ours have several rental properties. The husband is all for it and thinks it is such a good way to make extra cash (he has explained it to us and it does makes sense) however, his wife hates it. She would be totally fine selling the properties and not having to deal with it. They seem to make it work. I have actually helped them clean the places when someone moves out etc.

I see how you would not want to do it. It is good money, but it also looks like a huge pain sometimes. This friend has and still tries to talk my Fiance and I into doing this as well. We are both on the fence about it and I have no idea if we will end up doing it.

As for what you should do, it is tough. I get you want to be supportive. I think all you can do is talk to him about it. Make yourself clear, try not to fight. Perhaps come to some sort of agreement. Good luck!

Post # 5
9888 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@catnip:  That’s a tough situation because I can see both sides.  What I would do is make a list of all the pros and cons and keep discussing with your husband.  It’s more crucial to communicate and respect each other’s opinion than whatever the ultimate decision is. 

For example, agree to participate in the endeavor with him but agree to put a time limit to reevaluate at some point if things don’t seem to be going well.  Having income property can be lucrative but can also be a pain in the ass and cost a lot of money.  I wouldn’t enter into it lightly.  Do a ton of research and make sure both of you are very clear on what you’re getting into, if you decide to do it.  Good luck, I feel for you.  I hope he has experience with this kind of thing if you agree to let him try because it can go south quickly; or it can be a positive money-making thing, you just never know.

Post # 6
8827 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

the only thing you can do is calmly explain your reasons why you don’t think it is a good idea.  then tell him that is it is his choice to have the property or not (you are supporting him) but you don’t want anything to do with the property.


Post # 7
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@catnip:  My husband wants to do the same in a few years.  I told him that I didn’t want to be responsible for upkeep, running out in the middle of the night to fix whatever issue people had, etc.  We decided that we would have a rental company do all of that for us, and we would basically just own it.  I don’t know the specifics, but they take a cut of the rent but handle all of the day to day stuff.  I was also concerned about someone getting injured and us getting sued or something like that, but apparently when you have rentals you set up an LLC company and then if someone sues you they can’t come after your private assets.  That made me feel better too!

Post # 8
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

The benefits of what he’s attempting to do (in my opinion) far outweigh the potential downsides. If you’re main reasoning is not wanting to fight about it down the line, explain that to him and make an agreement.

Also, if its something HE wants to do, he likely won’t mind shouldering most of the burden, leaving you to keep your distance from that actual work part of being a landlord.

Post # 10
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@emelee:  +1 

I agree, look into having a company rent it for you. That way you’re still making some money! maybe that can be a compromise! 

Post # 11
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @catnip:  Ya I wouldn’t be a fan either… like you’ve pointed out a maintaining a rental place is a lot of work (time & money too).

Once upon a time investment properties such as these could make a good buck… based on my area of Eastern Ontario you could say buy a Townhouse for say under $ 150 K, rent it out for well over $ 1000 month ($ 1200 to $ 1500) to some GOOD TENANTS, do a bit of maintenance… depending on them to do the bulk of it (ie paint, cut the grass, etc).  And then after say 10 years or so, spend maybe $ 20 K on it, and sell it for 2x what you paid for it.

So I get where it sounds good.

What they don’t tell you tho is…

1- The real estate market has changed !!  Houses aren’t increasing in value now like they once were.

2- The rental market isn’t what it once was.  Interest Rates fell, so a lot of “great people” got out of renting and into buying their own places.

3- Finding GOOD TENANTS is hard work.  With fewer people renting, then it is harder to find the best people to rent to.


5- Even SO-SO TENANTS can be problematic, if you have frequent turn-over.  Everytime someone moves out there are costs incurred… and more maintenace that needs to be done on the property… such as repainting, general repairs, etc.

6- And finding NEW TENANTS is hard work.  And costs money thru advertising, running around, vetting them etc.

I have many friends who over the years have owned Rental Properties… sometimes 2, 3, 4 at a time (the market was that good)… most of them have now gotten out of that.  The few that remain only own 1 or 2 units… and they say times are tough.  I know one guy his wife says he spends TOO MUCH TIME NOW on this endeavour (weekends) that to her is isn’t worth it… I think when their current Tenants leases are up, they’ll be done, and selling the units.

Other than that…

He might want to talk to an Investment Advisor… I would think they might be able to fill him on whether they see this to actually be a good investment for his money.

You guys HAVE TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE in my mind… because of the money, time and work involved.

MORE SO IF the purchase would be made out of YOUR JOINT FUNDS… which I assume it would be. 

This isn’t just “a hobby” this is a MAJOR COMMITMENT.  You cannot just let things go, or drop it… you have to continue on with it for a set period of time.  And what if something happened to him… (illness, change of job such as a transfer to another city for a while)… then we would assume that it would be YOU that would need to step in and take over / pick up the slack… so not at all like if his hobby was playing a Sport or running trains in the basement !!

I truly think that as much as it is admirable that you want to support him and not dash his dreams, this is one that needs to be agreed upon by BOTH of you.

You guys need to be talking about this… not sweeping it aside for the future… and the what ifs… for when the time comes.

Hope this helps,


Post # 12
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I agree with the other Bees that you should do a ton of research and make your list of pros and cons. Also talk very rationally with your Darling Husband about budget. Rental properties may mean more than just the cost of the house: renovations, upkeep, insurance, possible damages by tenants, etc. If you crunch the numbers and simply can’t afford it, then present the case and maybe he’ll drop it. If money isn’t the issue, then all you can do is present your viewpoint calmly and rationally and hopefully reach a compromise.

That being said, rental properties can be very lucrative and rewarding. My landlords while I was in grad school had such a great experience with me and my roommates that they started buying up other houses in the neighborhood and renting them to grad students, and they were two of the nicest people you would ever meet. If you get good, responsible tenants, then you won’t have as many problems to deal with in terms of repairs and upkeep. And heck, you could make some new friends out of it!

Good luck, OP!

Post # 13
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think having a rental property is a great way to make extra money, assuming that said home can easily be afforded & that your ability to cover the mortgage isn’t dependant on having tennants there to pay you rent. Darling Husband & I will be landlords one day because his career will move us & he doesn’t want to sell our house. The way I see it is that we’ll use a property management company & not even have to deal with the tennants. Is this an option your Darling Husband is willing to consider that way the both of you aren’t having to deal with the potential property first hand? 

Post # 14
3150 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@catnip:  financially rental properties are really smart. My SO bought one last year & is buying another next year. He is super busy & didn’t want to be too involved so he hired a property management company. He has had zero issues since renting it out. His plan is to pay it off within 7 years & then collect the rent as complete income. He wants to eventialky have about 10 and will live nicely on that income plus his saved retirement. 

Talk about his goals and see what his plans are. Property management is an easy avenue. I think he pays around $100/mo. 

Post # 15
3150 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Also, renting is not a usually a money making endeavor initially. I would advise putting any “profits” right back to the mortgage to assist in paying it off sooner. 

Post # 16
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

Is it something you could afford to make the payment on with little to no financial stress if it was empty? If so, I’d say let him go for it, if not, then no.

My Darling Husband had two rental properties when we met. When the market tanked it was hard to find good tenants. Tenants would pay the security deposit, sometimes pay for a few months and then stop, and othertimes never pay again at all. Due to renter’s rights laws we got screwed, by the time we were legally allowed to evict them we had lost several months of rent past the security deposit, and they often trashed the house when they were evicted.

Homes in the area where are houses were located tanked in value so badly that eventually we couldn’t even charge what we owed per month because everything around there was renting for $200-300 less than our payment. Darling Husband eventually had to file bankruptcy to get rid of them.

I know this is a worst case scenario, but it can happen. Darling Husband was great with the houses for years, and then suddenly something out of our hands occured (the financial crisis) and we lost it all. If you can afford to swing the payment without help then I don’t think it would hurt and may be quite beneficial, but if you can’t it’s just too risky.

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