How would you handle this sticky in-law situation?

posted 5 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

I would cease the baby talk around her and find a new outlet to release your excitement. If she wants to be jealous, let her be. Stress is not going to do anything for you. 

Post # 3
Member
5567 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

codepurple89 :  i would definitely not bar them from the baby after the baby is here, that’s incredibly extreme.

Let your emotions settle. How often do you see them? It’s hard to feel like you can’t be yourself around family, I do think it’s reasonable to limit your time with them, at least until your emotions have calmed down a little 

If you are close enough, maybe you can have a heart to heart with your mil, that you’re sorry sil is hurting, but being barred from talking about your baby is hurting you too

Post # 4
Member
2528 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Is it possible she’s having trouble TTC? Honestly, I don’t really get the issue here. I would just not talk about the pregnancy around SIL if that’s her wish. You never know what is going on behind the scenes, and if she’s having trouble TTC (and your Mother-In-Law might not even know, some people are very private abou things like that), hearing you talk about your pregnancy might be painful for her. 

Post # 5
Member
5567 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

beevincent18 :  this was my first thought too

Post # 7
Member
5732 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

There are plenty of other people to talk to about your pregnancy. Why would you even want to talk to SIL about it is she doesn’t want to hear it? 

Maybe she is having difficulty having a baby, maybe she had a miscarriage, frankly you don’t know and your reaction seems a bit OTT.

Post # 8
Member
9211 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i thought you were going to say infertility. i know first hand how devastating that can be when you need to be in close proximity to someone who is pregnant.

but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.  limit your contant.  it’s her loss.  and when she’s ready to be an aunt, don’t deny her the privledge.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

beevincent18 :  My thoughts exactly.

Is this normal behavior from SIL? Your husband being pissed and wanting to take a break from them seems like an extreme reaction if this isn’t something she’s been known to do.

Post # 12
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

My guess would be that they are having trouble getting pregnant– perhaps they lost a child they haven’t told you about, perhaps they simply have been struggling for awhile. Given that, I would be compassionate. You likely have lots of people you can talk about this joyous event with (that’s what friends are for!) Have some empathy for the fact that for whatever reason (which may actually not have to do with you) this is a painful subject for her. Perhaps find other people in your life not your in-laws with whom you can share your excited updates?

Post # 14
Member
9742 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Like PP mentioned, my first thought is that she and her husband are having difficulty TTC and talking baby/pregnancy is painful for her. Is that fair to you? No, not really. But it also doesn’t seem that hard not to talk about the pregnancy around her. I definitely wouldn’t be making plans to cut anyone out of the baby’s life.

Post # 15
Member
8879 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

codepurple89 :  I would find other people to be excited around. And now you don’t have to worry about them trying to be overly involved. You were worried about that not too long ago, so you should see this new development as a win. One less thing to worry about.

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