(Closed) How would you handle this (univited kid attending)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Since it’s your Maid/Matron of Honor and she’s already bringing her one kid plus her exchange student, I would say that you might have to suck it up.  Can the 18 yr old also keep track of her son?

Post # 3
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah, I kind of think you are stuck with the other kid.  It really isn’t fair to ask her to only leave one at home while the others are coming.

Post # 4
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

As long as he is being watched by the student, I wouldn’t let it get to you.

Post # 5
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would say yes. I’m going to offer you a bit of a different perspective here. When I was little, my entire family went to a family friend’s wedding. My dad and my brother were both in the wedding, and I wasn’t even invited. I was young, around 8, and i still remember how sad I was that I didn’t get to go. 20 years later, I remember that feeling and it sucks. I am sure that you can find room for 1 more kid. I’m sure your matron of honor has done a lot to help you out with the wedding, I don’t think its really all that much trouble to ask considering the change of circumstances and that there is another person there to help with the kids.

Post # 6
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah there’s no way out of this. Have the exchange student do double duty. It’ll be fine.

Post # 7
Member
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would hope the exchange student can help with both kids.  Maybe you could give her a little something in appreciation. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

As your Maid/Matron of Honor, I think you should let her bring her kid. How would her son feel that he can’t even attend the wedding that her sister is in? That’s just my opinion… and I hate kids, really. Although you don’t have room, he’s a kid and can sit in someone’s lap I’m sure. Ultimately it’s up to you, but I think it would be nice to give her a break since she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 9
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think you’ll have to let this one go.  

Post # 10
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you have to let it go. Also, I might have my head in the sand on this, but I didn’t think that you had flower girls when you had a kid-free wedding. It’s kind of contradictory…

Post # 11
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@creativeplannertobee:I agree.

I think that as long as the exchange student can deal with both of them it shouldn’t be a problem. I also think that doing something special for the exchange student would be a nice gesture.

Post # 12
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t have any new advice to offer I just wanted to wish you the best. 

Post # 14
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Nola: is there a delicate way you can express your concerns about his behavior?  along the lines of, i understand you can’t get a sitter, but i’m a little concerned about your son being bored at an adult event, and not having someone to look after him, since you (the MOH) will be too busy to keep your eye on him?  i’d probably blame the venue, and let her know point blank they don’t allow unsupervised children… hopefully she’ll take the hint and get a sitter, or at least actually watch her child and prevent him from misbehaving during the reception.

Post # 15
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’d love to hear advice about this as well! My FH has a cousin who is almost 10 and is seriously the brattiest kid around. Just last Christmas, he repeatedly tried to rip open presents that weren’t for him and LOVES to shake soda cans so it will spill when he opens it. The parents (FH’s aunt and uncle) refuse to discipline him. .I guarantee you that he will poke his finger into the wedding cake (like he did with desserts the last 10 times), whines loudly the entire time or run around wildly during the ceremony. I’m a bit ashamed to say that I’ve never met a child so…unlovable.

We have to include this child  because my Future Mother-In-Law says so. I know how many PP believe that you should include your MOH’s son. True, it’s the polite thing to do. And true, maybe the child will feel hurt. But the flipside is, if he misbehaves badly at your wedding, can you live with it? If I have the opportunity to not let FH’s cousin attend, I would.  I’m stuck with my bratty guest  – I really hope you are not! This is one of the most important day of your life, hopefully your Maid/Matron of Honor will understand, even if she’d be a bit hurt for a few days. Good luck to you!

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