Post # 1
We very specifically stated on our invites that we are having and Adult only reception. The only kids we had planned on attending are the 4 kids in the wedding and a 18 year old exchange student of my matron of honor (that would be helping out with the flower girl).
So my matron of honor has 2 kids and an exchange student. Her daughter is our flower girl. She had told me that her son would not be around that weekend because he would be with his dad for the weekend. I was so happy to here this because her son is ummmmm…..not so well behaved. We had sent her an invite for four because she had said the 18 year old exchange student could help out with the flower girl (18months). However, yesterday I got a message from her saying that the other son was going to have to be attending because his father would be out of town and can’t take him. So this makes them have one extra person and I don’t have room for that at the table nor do I really want to deal with this kid. She also said she is going to be bringing him to the rehearsal and all of the day before activites we have planned.
Would you tell her no you don’t have the room? WOuld you just let it go? She lives in town and could easily get a sitter. However, she has made it clear she doesn’t want to get him a sitter. Am I just stuck saying ok?
Help me out girls!
Post # 3
Since it’s your Maid/Matron of Honor and she’s already bringing her one kid plus her exchange student, I would say that you might have to suck it up. Can the 18 yr old also keep track of her son?
Post # 3
Yeah, I kind of think you are stuck with the other kid. It really isn’t fair to ask her to only leave one at home while the others are coming.
Post # 4
As long as he is being watched by the student, I wouldn’t let it get to you.
Post # 5
I would say yes. I’m going to offer you a bit of a different perspective here. When I was little, my entire family went to a family friend’s wedding. My dad and my brother were both in the wedding, and I wasn’t even invited. I was young, around 8, and i still remember how sad I was that I didn’t get to go. 20 years later, I remember that feeling and it sucks. I am sure that you can find room for 1 more kid. I’m sure your matron of honor has done a lot to help you out with the wedding, I don’t think its really all that much trouble to ask considering the change of circumstances and that there is another person there to help with the kids.
Post # 6
Yeah there’s no way out of this. Have the exchange student do double duty. It’ll be fine.
Post # 7
I would hope the exchange student can help with both kids. Maybe you could give her a little something in appreciation. 🙂
Post # 8
As your Maid/Matron of Honor, I think you should let her bring her kid. How would her son feel that he can’t even attend the wedding that her sister is in? That’s just my opinion… and I hate kids, really. Although you don’t have room, he’s a kid and can sit in someone’s lap I’m sure. Ultimately it’s up to you, but I think it would be nice to give her a break since she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 9
I think you’ll have to let this one go.
Post # 10
I think you have to let it go. Also, I might have my head in the sand on this, but I didn’t think that you had flower girls when you had a kid-free wedding. It’s kind of contradictory…
Post # 11
I think that as long as the exchange student can deal with both of them it shouldn’t be a problem. I also think that doing something special for the exchange student would be a nice gesture.
Post # 12
I don’t have any new advice to offer I just wanted to wish you the best.
Post # 13
The kid is 10 and she just messaged me and said the exchange student wont be attending. So no extra help from her. The reason I was worried about her 10 year old son is because he is REALLY bad! He throws things and breaks stuff all the time, climbs over and under things and neither of the parents ever tell him to stop. I just worry that he will end up knocking stuff over or breakings or making a huge scene. I guess it is something I have to deal with though and if he is out of control my FH will end up blowing up over the issue.
Post # 14
@Nola: is there a delicate way you can express your concerns about his behavior? along the lines of, i understand you can’t get a sitter, but i’m a little concerned about your son being bored at an adult event, and not having someone to look after him, since you (the MOH) will be too busy to keep your eye on him? i’d probably blame the venue, and let her know point blank they don’t allow unsupervised children… hopefully she’ll take the hint and get a sitter, or at least actually watch her child and prevent him from misbehaving during the reception.
Post # 15
I’d love to hear advice about this as well! My FH has a cousin who is almost 10 and is seriously the brattiest kid around. Just last Christmas, he repeatedly tried to rip open presents that weren’t for him and LOVES to shake soda cans so it will spill when he opens it. The parents (FH’s aunt and uncle) refuse to discipline him. .I guarantee you that he will poke his finger into the wedding cake (like he did with desserts the last 10 times), whines loudly the entire time or run around wildly during the ceremony. I’m a bit ashamed to say that I’ve never met a child so…unlovable.
We have to include this child because my Future Mother-In-Law says so. I know how many PP believe that you should include your MOH’s son. True, it’s the polite thing to do. And true, maybe the child will feel hurt. But the flipside is, if he misbehaves badly at your wedding, can you live with it? If I have the opportunity to not let FH’s cousin attend, I would. I’m stuck with my bratty guest – I really hope you are not! This is one of the most important day of your life, hopefully your Maid/Matron of Honor will understand, even if she’d be a bit hurt for a few days. Good luck to you!