(Closed) how would you handle this?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Why not let your local girls throw you a local party?  I ended up having several bachelorettes – because everybody wanted in on the action, but not everybody could travel, or could even afford the same type of party.  You’re right – both parties in a single day are a lot – but if you get past the idea that everyone has to be there, it doesn’t matter if they are different days.  And if you can travel a bit, you can go visit your friend and have another bachelorette there – there’s nothing wrong with having more than one night on the town with friends.  If some friends want to travel and attend both, that’s fine too. 

Post # 4
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

since you dont mind there not being additional guest, why not just go up to visit your single friends? there’s no reason you have to all get together. there’s no reason to mention that you are planning to go for partying if that would cause trouble with the SIL.

 last month, i went to the beach with a friend and my Maid/Matron of Honor. i didnt tell/invite the other bms. it was the perfect beach slumber party that i always wanted. awesomeness. i’m glad i got to experience something that if we had to consider the whole group, would not have happened.

Post # 5
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

I would say have two parties! Let your SIL throw you what she’s planning, it sounds as if she’s excited to be a part of this and that’s something you don’t want to make awkward.

Do you have to label your weekend getaway a "bachelorette party"?

Either way I say do both!

Post # 6
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I would take the vacation you want to take and then let your bridesmaids throw you an actual party. If you want to go see your friend, go for it. Doing it alone will give you more time to visit and relax.

Post # 7
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I meant to add that if I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for somebody, I wouldn’t want to go visit a person I didn’t know and call it a party. If Im going to take off a couple of days, etc. it’s going to be to go somewhere that I know i’m going to have fun.

Post # 9
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

if thats all the sister and SIL want to do, then do it.  It seems like you are arguing that you want to go visit your friends and thats it.  I am not sure what the big deal is in doing both I guess?  I imagine the sisters want to do SOMETHING for you….and it doesn’t seem right to say well if you don’t want to come here thats fine, but I don’t want to do something else with you on top of that.  I know it sounds like a long day having them both in the same day, but if they have a kid and the other is in school, they might want to make it an early night too.  It can just be a girls night out – not necessarily THE bachelorette party.

Post # 10
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

Why don’t you just tell SIL that you’d just like to have a shower locally and you’d love if she hosted that for you.

Call the weekend with your girlfriends (other two BM’s) just a girls weekend.  Maybe to you it’s your bach party – but if you don’t call it that to the SIL she won’t feel like she’s being left out of something.

Even mom’s sometimes want to go out and let loose with the girls – maybe she was looking forward to doing this but could really only feasible do it if it was local – which is why she’s stressing to have the bach party local?

Just talk to her more – find out where she’s really coming from.  Let her know you’re not too excited about a night on the town locally (stress here that it’s the town you’re not excited about – so she doesn’t take it personally against her) – but are super excited about a shower with family and friends.

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